Monday, September 28, 2009

A Mighty Pain to Love It Is

Unrequited loved... the cock tease... these are cruel, cruel manipulations of the heart. To have the object of your affections dangled before you, but just out of reach, hidden just out of sight. It's sadistic cruelty, I tell you (not the good kind).
Evidentiary item #1: Michael C. Hall as Dexter. It was with anxious anticipation that I sat down to drink in the first episode of season 4 of Dexter. Honestly, I really enjoy the writing. Nicely complicated, yet tidy story lines. Can we all just acknowledge the elephant in the room, though. Michael C. Hall's booty.
Michael is one fine looking man, and he's done a wonderful job with the subtleties of playing the part of a serial killer playing the part of an averagely neurotic tech-nerd. But Michael's most powerful asset that he brings to the small screen, his ass, remains only hinted at. Once again in last night's season opener, we're treated to Michael walking away, that fabulous bubble butt framed nicely in his chinos. But despite a plot including a kinky sex scene (well... vanilla-wafer, suburbanite housewife "kink"), we barely catch a glimpse of our beautifully psychopathic hero shirtless.

You shameless, horrible tease! Michael and his handlers clearly have negotiated to keep his gorgeous ass under wraps, but we all know that we're all tuning in for that magical moment when Michael finally drops trou. It's like Sam and Diane all over again, the ridiculous dramatic tension drawn out to the point of total frustration, bordering on disgust. You know that we know that you know we're paying our Showtime subscription fees to see Michael's bare-ass. You cruel, cruel bastards.
Evidentiary Item #2: On the other side of the pelvis, I have a bone to pick (so to speak) with Joshua Goodman (Mr. Joshua) of BG East. Similar to Michael C. Hall, BG East has been teasing us, taunting us, sadistically torturing us by dangling Joshua's packed package before us for years without finally paying up. I lost hope of finally seeing Joshua's bona fides, so I haven't seen all his matches to verify that we never see his sizeable cock and balls (please, please let me know that I'm wrong). But we're continually taunted by Joshua in tight trunks and thongs, his pendulum swinging impressively. Joshua himself can't seem to keep his hands off his cock, constantly adjusting himself both from the exterior as well as the interior of his briefs. Just to tantalize us, we've occasionally glimpsed his balls squeezing out the sides of his trunk-crotch (cha-ching!). Joshua tells a nice story, both pitching and catching, but it's hard not to find your eyes fixated on his pouch, waiting for the moment when the goods come spilling out (or busting out at the seams!).
But the cruelest cut of all was Joshua's Wrestler Spotlight tape. The pics of the Brooklyn Bodywrecker hoisting the naked Joshua up over one shoulder was finally the long awaited promised land. This pic of Joshua's quite beautifully naked ass and thick, muscled legs hanging down from BBW's shoulder is truly a work of art.
I totally took the bait. Only to find that, despite Joshua getting stripped out of his g-string, we are treated only to the visual of his captured butt (totally worth the price of admission... but still!!!). BBW sadistically rubs salt in our wounds, taunting us by pointing out that he knows we've tuned in to see Joshua's goods. He assures us that Joshua's bits and parts are stunning. Then he carries Joshua back to the dressing room, leaving my jaw dropped open, my pants unzipped, and my face red with frustration.

Michael C. Hall and Mr. Joshua, you are hereby put on notice! If you continue with your cock-teasing ways, I will wash my hands of you in disgust. I will no longer pay up if you continue to refuse to pay up! I will not be so manipulated any longer! ... okay, just one more episode... just one more match... if I just give them one more shot, they'll give me what I want, won't they!?

2 comments:

  1. How F$%K’n frustrating, expecting to see some dick, only to be denied. I have several of Joshua’s matches, and always liked his style, but have never seen his dick pop out.

    Though I gotta say, if it did pop out and was flacid, that would be just as agravating. Prefer that if his dick is not going to stand at attention, then it should just stay in his pants. BG East has several fights were the guys end up naked, but their dicks are soft, Jeff Kenny was forever pulling off his trunks , his oponents trunks and any others he could get a hold of, but he was always flacid, I was more content with his trunks on forever speculating if his skinny frame suppported a massive dick.

    There are some exceptions, Resse Wells vs Firestorm, though Resse does not appear to be aroused, he’d have to be one wild mutha fucka if getting your balls beat senseless caused an erection, but his dick has enough girth to look good as it pops out of his thong.

    That was one of the things that always got me off on Can Am wrestling, cause the wrestling technique was generally lacking, but those boys could fill their trunks and when they did pop out of their gear, they continued the fight hard. This is particlarly impressive given that Viagra was not yet avialable. One of my favorite Can Am fights is
    Superfight 5 Brother v Brother, Brandon and Cody fighting for sibling dominance. During the course of the match they both show their enthusiam for the matter at hand by reaching full erections while still in their gear, after the trunks get predictably pulled off, the action continues with their dicks hard and thick.

    Bottom line is that if wrestling turns me on, then the fantasy is noticably enhanced if the fighters are just as turned on….

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  2. I'm with you 98%, topher. The 2% is that I have no problem with catching a glimpse of a beautiful, flaccid cock. I guess rather than the exception, I think seeing even a flaccid cock set free is a thing of beauty to me. Other than that, though, I totally agree that it's so much hotter to see these guys pounding and turning me on when they themselves are also turned on (in fact, it's a little disconcerting if there's a whole lot of friction and no response... gay or straight, there should be something going on when there's a lot of rubbing!). My beef with Joshua is that they've made his package a primary focus of his character in the ring, but then they're coy with the goods. My fear is that he's got a sock stuffed in there. I don't actually think that they do, but they've stretched this anticipation out so far it makes you wonder what the real story is.

    All that said, I find cock rings distracting. Just the sight of an erection isn't the real pay off if they're only staying hard with mechanical assistance.

    I also agree that Can-Am sports some mighty fine erect cocks. I've mentioned before how fascinated I am (that's one word for it) with David Taylor's perpetual erection. Cody & Doug Brandon never really caught my eye, so I appreciate the good word about their old match. I always feel like I should feel a little guilty about a brother on brother scenario (even when they're just onscreen brothers). Frankly, I don't actually feel guilt... I just feel like I ought to feel guilt.

    As always, you cut right to the heart of the matter, and your bottom line is entirely my bottom line as well!

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