Friday, October 16, 2009


I *heart*
Norman Smiley. Always have. When he was getting the crap beat out of him by punks who, I'm sure, he could have snapped in half, I was entranced by Norman. When he was doing the beating, I worshipped him. It's not so much of a mystery. He was always in incredible shape, and from the first moment I saw him when I was a teenager, I was immediately in lust.
His career took him around the world, it seems. This UWF match dated 1988 shows Norman looking particularly stunning, I think. He's no full contact fighter, but Norman in tight white trunks working up a sweat is pure gold. Sweet mother of god, those shiny, sweat soaked pecs still make me a little woozy. Hell, he could just shake his ass and I'd feel faint.
Oh wait, that was exactly Norman's schtick when WWE got their hooks back into him, wasn't it? The Big Wiggle. Ironically (or more probably, by design), the Big Wiggle actually tones down Norman's obvious sexuality. He becomes as much an object of ridicule as an object of lust, as he spanks his baby and thrusts his pelvis. Being a self-parody was probably required of Norman so as not to make a lot of white people feel threatened by his fantastic sensuousness. The Big Wiggle was probably about as much as straight up pro could handle of the stunning beauty of Norman's physique.
Much of Norman's career was built on getting his ass kicked, and I completely respect him for that. Allowing himself to get used by the likes of Alex Wright shows serious professionalism for a 6'2" brick house. The moments when he took a beating and came out on top always brought a tear to my eye.

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