Friday, October 30, 2009

Tricks and Treats


In keeping with the spirit of the season, I thought I'd send up
Thunder's Arena and their Halloween specials. Frankly, I think of Thunder's Arena as a side dish of wrestling, but as far as I know, wrestling is all they've got going. So technically it's a main dish, but the production, the sets, and the story lines seem pretty backyard-with-a-camcorder - familiar low-budget tricks. The prices, though, reflect the very beautiful boys that they put up.
Zack Vazquez seems to have been with Thunder's Arena for most of the duration, and he's often the feature fighter. The first time I saw Zack wrestle, I almost couldn't stand it. He looked like he was about to bust up laughing at his own camp, which is a BUZZ-KILL. Oddly, re-watching the same match, for some reason I was less turned off. Eventually, Zack's Thunder's persona and weak salesmanship (particularly with regard to suffering) has somehow fit itself into my expectations, and I am thus now entirely free to marvel undistracted at his beautiful, modelboy body.
The two Halloween specials from Thunder's Arena both feature Zack, and both coincidentally feature him getting the crap kicked out him and strangled (what they make up for in gorgeous bodies, they lack in original/interesting story). Despite the lack of range, Zack's performances do permit us to see him stretched out and squeezed and manhandled, presenting viewers with multiple opportunities for body worship. His opponent's never appreciate Zack's assets, and frankly, that prevents me from investing more enthusiastically. But over-camping and underselling, Zack still makes my heart beat a little faster.
That first match I saw Zack in pitted him against Alexander. Thunder's Arena sells Alexander as a "real indy-pro wrestler" who brings the realness to the camp of Thunder's. I've never seen an indy-pro match with Alexander. Perhaps he can totally pull it off in a real ring. But here, he's another beautiful/skinny boy with a body I could get into worshipping, but he does not sell. He's featured in both matches in this year's Halloween Havoc tape, including another match with Zack... and a chain... and a bucket (we see a lot of these props throughout Thunder's Arena matches). But I'm most intrigued by the new face, "O'Shea" who, in the stills at least, appears to crack Alexander in half.
I'm only half-heartedly into Thunder's Arena, but I do enjoy their holiday special matches. Somehow a holiday theme gives me the excuse to forgive the overcamp, look past the weak story, and just enjoy the gift (let's call it our "treat") of beautiful boys in speedos displaying their bodies for our viewing pleasure.

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