Monday, November 16, 2009

I Believe in Magic

One thing I've discovered in writing this blog is that I walk through a world full of beautiful men. I constantly pick out gorgeous men to lust over in any crowd. There's always someone that will catch my eye.

Johnathon Schaech first caught my eye in That Thing You Do. I immediately picked him out of the cast as my favorite flavor. So when the made for TV movie, Houdini, hit the air, it was destination television for me. Houdini confirmed my that my hunk-dar was still a finely tuned instrument. Johnathon has more than one sweet shirtless scene, unveiling a hot, muscled body. When Hush hit the big screen soon afterward, I was first in line at the box office. And Johnathon was cemented as a recurring star in my homoerotic imagination. In a plot to make Oedipus proud, Johnathon is working on the family farm, coated in mud, and eventually hosed down by his mother, played by Jessica Lange. There is NOTHING wrong with this scene (other than the fact the the hoser isn't another hot hunk). The mud is slimy, but not thick enough to obscure the rocking body underneath. The hose down is so sexually charged I swoon every time I see it (pics via capped!).

Other than Johnathon shirtless and hosed down, Hush is a little disappointing. It doesn't quite hit the mark as a suspense or horror flick, but there's not enough skin to really make it a lust product, either. Then again, it's not like I'll ever get tired of Johnathon's handsome face and furry forearms, particularly when the time is punctuated with him shirtless and getting hosed down.

Johnathan remains underused and under appreciated. He's never seemed to get the traction for the stud puppy (and decent actor) that he is. I was recently watching Quarantine (I'm a sucker for quick-release-to-video horror flicks), and I found one of the leads intensely sexual, despite not getting much of a look at him. He had a huge, 80's porn star stache, and he was always in fire fighter gear that obscured what sort of body was underneath. Then it finally struck me. It was Johnathon as a sexist, horndog, hero firefighter. Even when I didn't recognize him, he jumped out of the crowd as sex-on-a-stick. In a tragic turn of fate, he's writing and producing more, keeping him behind the camera. Someone needs to rectify this situation. This boy needs exposure.

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