Sunday, November 15, 2009

No School Like Old School


Randy Page was a classic pillar of old school homoerotic wrestling. Randy was relentless. He was often matched up with muscleboys much bigger then he was, and he invariably picked them apart like a turkey dinner. Randy wrestled in the day when scripts were thin, and even if the outcome was pre-determined (often it wasn't), these boys seriously threw each other around.
I loved the recurring story in Randy's matches of bulked up gym bunnies who started their matches joking and laughing. They clearly thought that their skinny little opponent wasn't a threat. Perhaps they thought that this was all for fun; just roll around in skimpy trunks and let some guy with money and a camera film you for his kicks. In BG's Hollywood Muscleboy Wrestling 2, bodybuilder Vinnie Marino thinks this is all camp, hamming it up early on, even pretending to lick Randy's thong-clad ass when he finds his head caught in Randy's vicelike grip.
Then Randy would attack, relentlessly on the offensive, twisting and cranking. When the big boys started tiring out, Randy would charge in and slap them in the chest, shove them in the ropes, and/or verbally taunt them. Slowly, you'd see the recognition dawn on their faces that this little scrapper was going to hurt and humiliate them if they didn't lower the hammer on him.
And then they'd try to lower the hammer, and nearly always, Randy would take their punishment, then reverse on them and beat the shit out of them. In the Hollywood Muscleboys 2 collection (all 7 bouts featuring Randy), more than one of the cocky studs who enter the ring quit their matches early. Chuck Ramsay, who has nothing but a gorgeous musclebod to offer in the ring, gets wrapped up and immobilized in back-to-back rapid fire falls. He nearly sprints from the ring in defeat and doesn't show his face in the genre again (as far as I can tell).
I think NakedKombat may come closest these days to trying to capture some of the less-scripted action that Randy Page made so entertaining. But despite Randy never getting overtly sexed up in his matches, I still find his action hotter than most things I see out today. Even Randy would occasionally throw us a bone (so to speak) such as his impromptu wardrobe change in his closely fought match with Kori Thomas, giving us a lingering look at his athletic, bare ass. The pantheon of grappling studs who make me pant today are near and dear to my heart, but Randy will always remain my favorite wrestleboy-emeritus.

5 comments:

  1. Can't believe I'd forgot all about Randy Page. He was the shit ... tough, good looking, competitive, not to be messed with. Your pics of him are fantastic. (Bard, are you sure you're not my evil twin?)

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  2. Ooo - ooo! I get to be the evil one!? Fantastic! In that case, yes, definitely, I'm your evil twin!

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  3. Thanks for the Randy Page tribute, had not thought about him in a while, I know I have seen these fights before, but I do not have the VHS version in my collection, 7 fights for $39 was to good to pass up, five business days from now……..

    What I remember most about Randy was the Like a Horse video, the wrestling sequence in the movie was authentic, though I haven’t seen it in a while, I am certain Randy bottoms in that, which was a total surprise given how dominate I had seen him in BG fights. For me I always equate winning a match with topping your opponent, so when a fighter who had always been winning his matches is suddenly on the losing end, it is so unexpected that it adds to the eroticism, for me at least.

    Your comparison of the Page matches to Naked Kombat is astute. I had been resistant to subscribing to NK because I did not think they had enough content posted, finally this week I purchased a subscription. The fighters impressed me with their stamina and competitiveness, and the round 4 storyline adds a dimension that had always been lacking from the BGEast product, the evolution from wining the fight to fucking your opponent is a natural transition for wrestling. After all if wrestling turns me on as a viewer on, then fucking is the natural manifestation of the fight. I can not decide what I like more, the aggression which borderlines on rape exhibited during round 4, (DJ’s scream/whimper as he gets slam fucked makes me completely hard) or the tenderness evident in the jimmi slater/shane Erickson fight in which their attraction is confirmed by the intimacy of prolonged kissing. Fuck it, they both have the effect of me making a mess all over myself. For any of your blog readers that have not checked out Naked Kombat, get to the site immediately.

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  4. I subscribed to NK for a while for all the reasons you mention. I bailed after a month or so because it felt too much like a work-in-progress... not enough product to keep me occupied, and still sorting out what note they're trying to strike. That said, I liked to see the guys working hard for me. Not much room for strutting or posing when the other guy is seriously going to throw you down hard. That seemed to be the lesson Randy taught many a gym bunny. I tend to prefer the dominating and tender denouement, as opposed to this "is this an actual rape?" conclusion. I was more convinced by the stories in NK prior to round 4, than their round 4 story. Some of them seemed a little like an obligatory poke that no one was particularly invested in. I bailed before the Mitch Colby match went up, so I'm cursing my bad timing. I have yet to get too much Mitch.

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  5. I do indeed remember Randy Page from one of the Muscleboy wrestling videos that I saw years ago, I think in the late 1980's. Randy was a good-looking athletic wrestler who seemed to know quite a bit about wrestling and was able to defeat and pin some of the bigger, stronger body-building guys that he competed against. He seemed to really enjoy his matches. He also appeared in the Bijou video catalog when he was younger, before he moved into wrestling videos. Hope he's doing well, wherever he may be now.

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