Thursday, December 24, 2009

A Magical Christmas


I am feeling so cynical this year! Yesterday I contemplated my support of a violent people's revolution in the North Pole to depose the tyrannical Santa Claus and empower "his" elves to self-determination. Today, I'm watching YouTube videos of the bizarre Christmas tradition at the Beverly Center and thinking this holiday has surely lost any point.
It appears every year for the past few years hot stud James Ellis has made an appearance as Santa with sideshow girls in the Beverly Center in LA (of course). Hot fitness stud James Ellis arrives with his pecs freshly oiled and an entourage of acrobats ready to spread their legs and hang bound from the ceiling (I'm not exaggerating... check it out). Go ahead. Tell me that's not some twisted BDSM fantasy. I dare you.
This clip from the second half of the show (jumping ahead to some serious display of meat) can serve no purpose other than to frighten children and arouse gay men. A hunky mall Santa is so completely wasted. Now replace the XX chromosomes with more hot, shirtless men in spandex, and transport the whole scene to a gay pride (or a BDSM convention), and this whole thing would finally hit its mark.
Either Christmas has strayed from the childlike wonder and innocent magic that I remember from my youth, or else sex has always been at the heart of the holiday and I'm only now able to recognize it as an adult. Excuse me while I cue up the video again to ogle James Ellis and the acrobat boy suspended from the ceiling by a rope in part deux, starting right around 02:19.
Wishing everyone a hot and sexy Christmas Eve this evening (because that's what it's all about, right?)!

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