Sunday, December 6, 2009

A Promise Kept


Rock Hard Wrestling finally went live. It didn't happen in August as promised, or November as promised later. But it finally happened, and all is forgiven. In the interest of "consumer research," I checked out two of their first three matches to see if the delivery lives up to the hype.
So you pay $12.95 per instant download of DVD (note different match lengths, same price). Having entirely lost my ability to sustain prolonged anticipation, I went the download route. I started with the Ray Martinez vs. Cameron Davis match, mostly because I'm in awe of Ray (aka Alan Valdez aka Rio Garza, etc.). The production quality is very high. A lot of different cameras simultaneously film the action in HD. The close ups put you right in the ring, while the wider angles tell the story. The story itself is thin, though. Ray finds Cameron already in the ring and taunts him by explaining he already has a bigger fan base (it's all about size). Ray turns his back on his opponent and poses for the camera, and predictably Cameron attacks him from behind in mid-flex. Cameron has clearly done some amateur wrestling, and he pretty much owns Ray from start to finish as a result. He turns him, tosses him, and pins him at will. Sweet Ray takes his punishment, but the nicest moments in this match are when Cameron finds himself chuckling at the completely dominated state of his hardbody opponent. More than once, Cameron looks at the camera and smirks as if to say, "Just look at me own this bitch!" In case you follow Ray/Rio at BG East, he's not nearly as incredibly cut and hard as his BG East appearances. Two falls, eleven minutes, yours to own.
After getting a taste of RHW, I felt ethically bound to have more than one sample of the goods in order to offer a thorough review. So I also took a long look at the Zack Jonathan vs. Brody Hancock match (aka Zack Vazquez vs. Reese Wells). The story is basically the same premise from Ray and Cameron's match. Zack arrives to find Brody already in the ring. Zack struts and preens for the camera, explaining that the fans pay up to see his stunning body. When Zack tosses a bottle of baby oil to Brody and insists on having him oil Zack up, Brody attacks from behind. These boys are a little more evenly matched than Ray and Cameron, in that neither of them look entirely at home in the ring. Still, Brody is by far the better salesman. He gives and takes some punishment with style that I like. Smirking Zack, though, predictably can't quite stay in the moment, which is just distracting. The tide turns back and forth several times, resulting in three falls over 18 minutes. Once again, my favorite moments are catching Brody mug for the camera mid-action, sneering as he makes his overconfident, pinup boy opponent suffer.

For a blow by blow of the third match, check out Topher's fine review yesterday in the comments at Ringside at Skull Island. RHW has put together a very high quality product with very beautiful muscleboys. Other than Cameron's performance, the wrestling is weak, though Brody is a standout salesman that I'm willing to buy. Zack, God bless him, needs to seriously get his ass kicked, I think, in order to get in touch with what it really feels like to suffer a beat down. So if you're looking for some convincing wrestling, domination, and suffering, these matches score relatively low (though I'm liking Cameron's amateur skills). If you're looking for some overt homoerotic action or body worship, these matches score very low. If you're looking for beautiful muscleboys in skimpy outfits rolling around, these matches score very high.

3 comments:

  1. Thanks, Bard. I will check these out on a day when I need a strong dose of prettiness, hold the wrestling skills.

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  2. wow stole copyright material. i don't think the owners will like this. i'd remove this content if i was us

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks for your concern, heavenlywonder03. Fortunately, the copyright owners seem okay with using their promotional pics for purposes of review. Here's the quote from my correspondence with them:

    "It's OK with us for you, or any others, to use pictures from our website, you have our permission to do so. They are promotional pictures and we don't mind them being passed around and re-posted. I suppose we should make mention of that in our FAQ's."

    ReplyDelete

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