Monday, January 18, 2010

Parlez vous français?


I took one term of French in college. I thought it would be fun. I was wrong. I'm sure it was my professor's fault. It was all about table etiquette and asking where to find the toilet while sounding like you're sniffing fine perfume. Now, if I had one of the boys from
Wrestlers & Lutteurs tutoring me, I'd be speaking (and probably swearing) in French fluently.
My top choice for a French tutor is the fabulous scrapper Damien. He has a face straight out of the Vienna Boys Choir and an attitude straight out of the Hell's Angels. I first saw him in the extreme aggro match up with Fabrice. I kick myself for remembering nothing from French class, because these boys are taunting each other perpetually throughout their match. Their bodies speak clearly enough, though. As Damien secures another fall, he struts to the score cards and turns over another victory in his column. Picking up the score, he shows it to Fabrice, pointing at it with a sneer and saying something that's obviously a testimony to his fierce superiority. I truly believe these boys harbor intense disgust for one another, and that makes this 10 degrees hotter than it already is.
Damien has bulked up over time battling in W&L-land. Like many of the boys in Lyon, he has gorgeously hairy, meaty legs and furry forearms. He's hell-bent on total domination of every opponent he faces. He doesn't always come out on top, but he's ferocious and focused at all times. Without me knowing a word that's coming out of his mouth, he tells a crystal clear tale of the cocky young stud who's willing to put his body on the line to humiliate any challenger in dominating victory.
With Damien straddling my hips and screaming down at me, I'm absolutely certain I'd know French in an instant. I suspect it would include a lot of taunting and profanity that I probably shouldn't use when ordering meals in fine Paris restaurants, but I think the lessons Damien would have to teach me would be much more relevant and useful for my purposes.
My second choice for a French tutor is a blond bombshell named Damiano. Oh la la, indeed! Where Damien looks like the boy next door, Damiano looks like a Hollywood leading man. He's armored in long, lean muscle, and he's a relentless grappler. I first saw him team up with Benjamin on the way to getting their (fine) asses handed to them by Geoffrey and Christophe1 (apparently there are so many Christophe's, they must be numbered). Damiano fights with singular focus, without wasted effort, assembling one move building upon another to systematically immobilize and submit his opponent.
Damiano's humiliating torture of this opponent, scissored oh-so-high between his legs, is precisely the position in which I would like him to tutor me in French. Seriously, if he were to lock my head up like that, squeezing me cheek-to-cheek and using those stunning legs to discipline me like the naughty pupil I am, I'd be gasping out verb conjugations obediently. I think education is all about motivation, and having my face pressed tight against his muscled ass could motivate me to do absolutely anything Damiano wanted me to do.
To be clear, there's little overtly homoerotic about W&L beyond the hormone-charged atmosphere you might expect in a fraternity chapter house. But if you've been in a fraternity chapter house, you know that means there's plenty of homoerotic subtext (and text). These boys love their bodies, deservedly. They love the battle. And on deliriously happy occasions (for me, at least), they fight dirty, including some nasty ball claws.
I can't testify to their product delivery, other than their PPV and DTO services. I had to download some extra software for both the audio and visual components, but once I was up and running, the downloads were fine. The video quality has improved over the history of W&L, with clearer pictures and more close up action from multiple camera angles in the more recent bouts. Gorgeous bodies earn them a high marks. Genuine grappling ability in most cases get them more high marks. Copious sweat and frequent humiliating dominations give them still more high marks. The set and video quality are average, and the straight vibe warrants relatively low marks. But if Damien or Damiano ever hire out for French tutoring, you can get behind me in line, because I am hot for teacher!

1 comment:

  1. Great post! I am glad you featured the excellent company in your blog. Damiano is probably my favorite underground wrestler around. In additional to being a great heel, he does jobber well as well, especially in his single match against Christophe 1, Nathan and Ben. Down but never out, he's always entertaining to watch. I hope that they will have more of his matches available for download soon!

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails