Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Pecs in the News

My "thing" for hunky newsmen is well-established. Just last week, I was going on and on about my nomination of Anderson Cooper to be a new gay superhero. A couple of days ago, Towleroad pointed me toward a snarky piece by the NY Times fashion writer, bemoaning the "Anderson Cooper effect" of newsmen dressing casually, and particularly in tight t-shirts in order to show off their buff physiques. Apparently, we are to believe that this is a tragedy. Apparently the good old days were better, when any old white guy with jowls and elbow patches on his sport coat could be trusted to speak with the voice of authority. I assume the NY Times fashion writer must have in mind those same good old days when people of color and women were entirely absent from the news media and the only images of gay people to be found on camera were pencil mustached sissies with bows in their hair.
Anyway, I was initially feeling a little defensive of my gay superhero, Anderson. Sure, he can take care of himself. I have no doubt Anderson could put that "buff physique" to good use cracking the NY Times fashion writer like a walnut with those awesome biceps (I'd buy a ticket to that show). But on reading the article in question, the reporter also calls out a new face/body I'd not noticed before.
Jason Carroll is officially my newest newsman crush. And speaking of crush, just imagine those guns wrapped around you in a bearhug. I realize that I'm playing into the argument of the NY Times article, that the news is more about entertainment and sex than news (has someone been reading my wrestling fiction!?). But short of a time machine back to the 1950's, the days of the valiant (old white) newsman with a paunch and horned-rimmed glasses are over, and I'm pretty okay with that. Until there's a revolution overthrowing the global capitalist hegemony and tearing down the culture of the commodification of everything, I say bring on the buff boys of CNN!
To ever (ever, ever, ever) put Jason in a sport coat and tie would be ridiculous. It's like those expensive sports cars parked on the street with the ugly canvas draped over top of them. If you're going to leave something beautiful out in public, show it off, for God's sake! To be honest, at first glance, I think Jason looks just a little bit too tweezed for my tastes.
But then he flexes those softballs on his upper arms and suddenly I can find absolutely nothing at all wrong with this man. Look at those bulging shoulders and pecs (as if you could tear your eyes away from them)! He's pretty smooth on camera. I totally buy the assessment that he looks like he just pumped out 20 push ups and his taking every opportunity to flex his fantastically vascular guns. And frankly, I prefer my horrific world news delivered this way.
Jason Carroll is now on my radar and starring in my imaginative fantasies. He clearly doesn't have the news credibility and polish of Anderson, but I think if Anderson were willing to take on a sidekick, they'd make an unbeatable superduo. The bitter queens will likely continue to misdirect their self-hatred toward Jason's gorgeousness, but I for one am picturing some nasty muscle domination and humiliation that only two sadistic gym bunnies could deliver. I have a strong suspicion that there will be a new tag team wrestling match in the Newsmen division in the near future.

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