Wednesday, February 3, 2010

False Modesty

Purportedly, the ancient Greeks wrestled naked. Somewhere between then and now, modesty set in and wrestlers found the need for gear. So the point of gear is modesty, covering up the "private parts," keeping the swinging ball and chain in check. So when a wrestler finds his gear yanked, there's something delightfully transgressive about it.
It's generally the hard hunks like Marcus Bagwell getting some serious exposure with a trunk pull. Anyone might find a handful of nylon helpful in the ring, but somehow it's the gorgeous muscle studs with fantastic bubble butts who seem to find themselves on the receiving end of trunk pull overexposure. I'm not complaining.
Wrestling Arsenal points out that some pros particularly proud of their posteriors clearly work in getting bare assed as part of the routine. Eddie Atlas here is captured in a moment of overacting, but it's not like we're critiquing him for an Oscar, now is it? We're focused with a tunnel vision thrill on Eddie's naked, very round ass. Dude on his back could almost certainly have found a more effective way to power-bottom, but again, I'm not complaining.

There's undoubtedly utility in a trunk grab in many cases. In what is theoretically a pure man-vs-man competition where your only weapons are your bodies and your brains, gear can be an effective illicit addition to the arsenal. But even more satisfying in my book is the trunk pull for no purpose other than humiliation.
Stoney Hooker draped across his opponent's knee finds his trunks wedged up to his kidneys, all the better to slap his sweet white ass like the man-child his is. This hardly moves the match any closer to a pinfall... not complaining...

Sprinkle some homoeroticism into your wrestling kink, and the gear grab moves from the implicit sexuality of wrestling to explicit sexuality.
Kid Leopard models complete ownership of his opponent with one hand yanking him up by his hair and the other hand lifting him by his jobber-white trunks. By the look on his face, this jobber is ready to cry out his submission. Knowing KL, the jobber's humiliating defeat will not come one second sooner than it absolutely needs to.
In the over the top homoerotic scenario, playing with the modesty of the wrestling gear is like foreplay. It's the glimpse of what's hidden, the hint of things to come. BG East classic brawler, Jose, packed a cock that defied belief. When he (frequently) battled naked, his flailing python was jaw dropping (which is the appropriate position). In TagTeam Torture 1, with one my favorite finishers of all time, Jose and Cruze are thrilled sadists relishing every second of their humiliation of earnest babyface skinny boys, Patrick and Sean. When Jose backs Sean into the ropes and yanks his trunks to get better leverage on some ab pounding, Sean's modesty is momentarily defied. It's all foreplay, though. Just wait a few minutes, and the teasing trunk pull will be revealed as downright demure compared to what await Patrick and Sean. Again I say, one of my favorite finishers...
I really resent the muscleboy cockteasers. I've mentioned before how my unrequited lust for Joshua Goodman's opened package irritates me. At least the powers that be give us glimpses of all that we're missing with the talent that clearly doesn't want to share (selfish bastards). Despite some nice, hard nudes of Justin Pierce available on the net, he never shares his full glory with us in the ring. Bulldog Barzini thoughtfully treats us to a glimpse of the goods, though, yanking so hard on Justin's trunks they look like they're about to snap (if only). It's hardly as if Bulldog needs to resort to dirty tricks. He's on his way to decimating the prettyboy hardbody without really needing to break a sweat. But Bulldog is a true, thoughtful gentleman who keeps us in mind as he not only beats the crap out of Justin, but humiliates him and ridicules the false modesty of his wrestling trunks.
One of the worst muscleboy cockteasers has got to be Brad Rochelle. Again, there are nudes of Brad to be had, but in the ring he guards his bits and baubles fiercely. That doesn't stop his brutalizers from reminding us all that despite remaining covered up, there are wonders just under the covers. Sid takes a play out of KL's book, dragging suffering Brad up by a handful of hair and a fistful of trunks, giving us the unsatisfying hint of Brad's beautiful bare butt. So now I'm complaining... but I'll take what I can get (particularly if it's more Brad, please).

Gear is about modesty. It's a concession to the repressed, body-hating culture that's constantly trying to convince us that very specific geography of exposed skin is distasteful. Certain square footage of the human anatomy must be disguised and covered in order to make the rest of the human anatomy socially acceptable, we're taught. So the tug at the trunks, the yank of the tights, the fistful of gear that exposes the naughty bits is a sweet moment of transgression, when particularly those of us who love the male body can flip the bird at every attempt to take the erotic out of the gorgeous male form.

2 comments:

  1. Actually, there are nudes of Brad out there. You just gotta know where to look.

    So look for Brad Allen

    ReplyDelete
  2. Indeed there are, and he's swinging awfully pretty pipe. In the ring, where he ignites my homoerotic imagination most, he's sadly stingy with the full frontal glory, though.

    ReplyDelete

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