Thursday, February 11, 2010

Fantasy Olympics

Beautiful Whistler, BC will be the venue for several of the upcoming winter Olympic events based in Vancouver, starting tomorrow(!). Alpine skiing, nordic ski events, bobsleds... they'll all take place with the backdrop of Whistler setting a beautiful stage.
A few years ago, Can-Am shot a snowboarder tag-team scenario with some exteriors in Whistler as background. Spearheaded by Jimmy Dean who was at that very moment in the process of metamorphosing into a thick and beefy muscle-bound badboy, these four boys posed with snowboards on the slopes of Whistler before showing up in the ring to further work out their competitive juices.
This is the way the winter Olympics should play out as well, if you ask me. Let the boarders and skiiers and bobsledders and speed skaters (especially the speed skaters) hammer down in the explicit spirit of the Olympics, but then, later, throw them into a ring to sort out the real story: the injured pride, the trash talk gone awry, the snarling, body on body throw down that decides who can genuinely put up and who just needs to shut up. Let's see some world class athletic asses on display and faces ground into the mat.

All the better when the ring work turns to betrayal such as when Chris Cumberland becomes the object of three-on-one abuse. When Chris' partner joins forces with Jimmy and his partner, beautifully tattooed Chris is yanked and pounded and hammered and kicked every which way. I know that not everyone is into a total squash, but as for me, I definitely enjoy the occasional humiliating abject suffering of one man overwhelmed and conquered helplessly.

So let the Olympic drama play itself out as always, but why not get some extra mileage out of the whole scenario by tossing
Bode and Mats and Denny and Alexei in the ring and headlining some balls out boy bashing. You know it's going to be that much more satisfying once Bode's getting his ass handed to him by all three at the same time!

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