Friday, February 12, 2010

Fantasy Olympics

Can-Am has another nice example of a marketing strategy that the winter Olympics ought to try. The two Hockey Havoc tapes from Can-Am tell the story of on-ice rough housing that becomes a full on wrestling match in the locker room. I'm absolutely certain that this would be a win-win-win situation for everyone involved if some of the hot hockey hunks in Vancouver followed up the competition with a rip and strip wrestling throw down.
Hockey Havoc 2 in particular is the set-up I'd like to see folks like Mike Komisarek, Alexei Kovalev, and Henrik Lundqvist throw themselves into. High sticking and other cheap shots on the ice result in gloves dropped and fists flying. The fury between Ron Masters and Cody Brooks is particularly fun to watch, as Cody manages to trap Ron's helmeted head in a leg scissors with both boys still entirely geared up. I don't imagine that's a particularly punishing hold, but it's a hoot to watch!
Once the boys make it to the locker room, angry words continue to fly. Cocky Masters boasts he can beat all three of the rest of them. Eventually, the scene is set for stunning hunk, Cody, to toss Masters around like the twink punk he really is. Gear is systematically stripped. Cody's fantastic ass is framed beautifully bare in his jock strap. Masters is lifted, slammed and squeezed from every angle. Cody has things well in hand, but eventually a three-on-one proves that Masters was all bark.

To teach Masters the lesson he's so desperate to learn, his tormentors decide that they must humiliate him thoroughly. So they strip him naked, pin him to the floor, and shave his legs, crotch and ass. Finally, the boys each grab a piece of Master's gear and jerk off all over it. Hog tied, Masters is finally dragged into the shower and left on the tile floor, bound, while his betters soap up.

So clearly, this stuff happens. I have every confidence this scene has been repeated in arena locker rooms around the world (at least it has in my mind). So a word to the wise in Vancouver: let the hunks of hockey really work out their aggressions once the medals are handed out. With personal and national pride on the line, the competition will surely be fierce and satisfying.

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