Saturday, February 13, 2010

More Olympic Spirit

The games have begun! The pageantry and drama of the opening ceremony wasn't exactly my cup of tea. The arial acrobat performing to Joni Mitchell was pretty mind blowing, and the tattooed fiddler in a flying canoe (!?!) looked like he was a pretty beefy cut of man. Again I say, the winter Olympics need to figure out how to display more of the beautiful bodies assembled to compete in elite competition.
Speaking of which, I recently stumbled across Nordic combined Austrian star, Felix Gottwald. He's already a multiple medal winner from prior Olympics. At 34 years old, he's making a comeback, defying the accelerated march of age that puts world class athletes out to pasture so quickly.
Felix strikes me as a character made for melodrama. The frosted hair, the self-promoting, cocky attitude... I'm picturing him as one of those vicious whip chord pro-wrestlers who look dwarfed by the muscle heads, but who make up for it in speed, daring, and savagery. Felix is a tight little aryan package who knows that he's pretty, and I'm betting that he banks on that to disarm his opponents. In the ring, they'd never see him coming.
I shouldn't need to confess my ignorance of winter sports again, but the Nordic combined? This is seriously outside of my frame of reference. Apparently these athletes combine cross country skiing and ski jumping. So I take it that this is about long suffering endurance with bursts of adrenalin-laced power. The cross-training format appears to build fatless, long, lean bodies squeezed into spandex. Nice.
Felix is accustomed to air time, so I'm thinking he's made to order for arial work off of the top turnbuckle. Even better, I think he's got the look of one of those masters of balance who can walk the top ropes and bound off of them to deliver the precise trajectory to flatten their awed opponents. Once he's hooked the leg and patiently waited for the ref's three count, you know Felix would kneel on one knee straddled across his fallen foe, before flashing a double bicep. The peaks may not be as massive as some of the short-distance muscleheads, but posing with that shit-eating grin, his demolished opponent would be looking up in awe at the deceptively tight little package that laid him out.


  1. Oh, hell, now I'm probably gonna have to watch the fuckin Olympics ...

  2. It has all the ingredients... just add a pinch of imagination...



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