Thursday, September 30, 2010

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

September has brought a bumper crop of homoerotic wrestler-of-the-month contenders. Can-Am has a September release date for their Hollywood Fight Club 3, featuring ever-ready wrestler-of-the-month quality from Chris Bruce, Donnie Drake, Rio Garza, and "Can-Am Exclusives" Drake Davenport and Michael Vineland. BG East released 6 new tapes this month, and top contenders for the -of-the-month title have to include veteran Patrick Donovan, Kid Karisma, Alexi Adamov, the Enforcer, and sweet rookie, Angelo Blanco. Rock Hard Wrestling is putting up the beauty and burgeoning wrestling prowess of Cody Nelson and Travis Storm. Now that I'm tracking Thunders Arena again, I feel compelled to throw in Ace Hanson (I think his "Custom Series" came out this month) as well as Thunders' monster rookie STL and everyone, and I mean everyone's high class jobber Cameron Mathews (who's showing up in new releases in both Can-Am and Thunders, raising my overexposure caution flag). I haven't even had time to mention it, but the Naked Kombat performance of Phillip Aubrey this month was extremely satisfying for me, perhaps topped only by the domination of July's homoerotic wrestler-of-the-month, Trent Diesel by the muscleboy Ken-doll who goes by the thoroughly pornboy name, Ryan Rockford.


Holy crap! The good news is that the market is thick with new products, lustworthy wrestlers, and stories that are grabbing me hard. The bad news is that I've set up for myself the task of choosing just one for my favorite homoerotic wrestler-of-the-month. I'm sorely tempted to pick a rookie, to just drive home my plea for continued recruitment and promotion of quality new talent. Admittedly, I'm far too poor to have actually seen all these matches, so quite a bit of this decision hinges on the packaging (which is shaky ground, I'll admit). But there's nothing left to do but to do it. My favorite homoerotic wrestler-of-the-month, out of an extremely crowded and brutal field this time around, is...




The Enforcer appeared this month in BG East's new release, Masked Mayhem 7. He put his gorgeous body and undefeated record on the line against militia-looking meanie, the Marauder. I'm very, very happy to say that I have seen this match, and it's an epic battle that takes my breath away. These big, big boys are brutal. They accomplish a key element that I find a major turn on, that being that they hold my suspense. Both of these guys are amazing salesmen and accomplished wrestlers. And the Enforcer is as pristine and timeless a classic masked wrestler today as he was six years ago when he first stepped into BG East's ring to lay some brutal, completely unnecessary, muscleboy beatdown on the already humiliated and destroyed Brad Rochelle.


Whatever it is that the Enforcer is doing to keep in shape, he should bottle it and make a fortune. He looks every ounce as stunning and absolutely identical to his devastating form 6 years ago. More than just looking "as good" as he did, he just looks exactly the same.


He remains creepily quiet in his matches, which is a challenge for someone like me that lives for the humiliating dialogue in the ring. Nevertheless, he communicates it all with great skill. He grunts, gasps and groans, and I find myself on the edge of my seat waiting for the next sound to get pummeled out of that massive chest. Despite his notorious humiliation of an already destroyed Brad, the Enforcer is no untouchable squasher. He takes his hits (and occasionally, licks). He suffers and squirms. That big, powerful body gets as good as it gives. And in Masked Mayhem 7, once again, he turns me into a grunting, gasping, groaning mess. And for that, the Enforcer is my homoerotic wrestler of the month.

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