Saturday, January 1, 2011

Cleaning House - 2011

Keeping with my New Year's traditionsI'm taking a little time to do some major cleaning. This place seriously needs it. When male model and novice actor Lucas Kerr came by to celebrate the ball dropping last night, that bastard slapped his muddy boots all over the couch.

When he wakes up from his drunken stupor this morning (or afternoon), there's going to be hell to pay, I tell you. I'm going to rub his nose in the mess to teach him a lesson like a naughty pup. He's been a bad boy, and he deserves the stern spanking that's coming to him. After his punishment it'll be time for his penance, as I force him to help me straighten the place up, scrub the floors, perhaps put a new coat of paint on the walls, dig the expired food out of the back of the fridge, that sort of thing.

I know that you'll insist on hearing the whole story, so don't worry. I'll fill you in on all the details soon.

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