Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Don We Now Our Gay Apparel

Joe has already posted an excellent low-down on the entertainingly bizarre Thunder's Arena holiday release featuring a masked Secret Santa and his Evil Elf beating the crap out of one another. For an overview of what you get with this novelty match, including a most insightful implication of this as a Marxist morality tale, check out Ringside at Skull Island. On this 11th day of Christmas, I'd just like to point out a couple of additional things that caught me by surprise with this match.

Santa's ass ROCKS! Even covered head-to-toe in red spandex, Santa is one hot, hot, HOT sexy beast! That perky, diamond-cut pair of glutes somehow defies the laws of physiques and human physiology at the same time. This is one of those moments when I find myself talking at the screen as I'm watching: "You've got to be kidding me! I could balance a beer bottle on that shelf!" The Evil Elf's ass is quite an astonishing piece of art as well, but I've talked about those glutes extensively already.

Another point worth repeating is that, for what at first glance appears to be all gimmick, Secret Santa v the Evil Elf is packed with some impressive wrestling action. This seems less surprising once the masks are ripped off and we see the talent underneath. Of course, too much gimmick can signal weak wrestling, but that's just not the case here. It has more a sense of horseplay than fierce competition, but the action is legitimate pros-on-mats quality that makes me stop thinking of this as a novelty match and more as entertaining wrestling.

A third point (I know, I planned on only making two), Secret Santa v the Evil Elf plays more homoerotic than I typically expect from Thunder's Arena. The wrestlers here are both quick witted and sharp tongued, and they skillfully walk a fine line between homophobic locker room barbs and full-on gay fantasy (which is a very, very fine line indeed, as far as I'm concerned). When the boys started telling their story at the beginning of the match, I suspected that this could turn horribly wrong. Santa drops in several, "That's not what you said last night..." lines, alluding to having owned Elf's ass in their shared bedroom. This could have gone in a train wreck, "no-homo," sort of direction.

But surprisingly, it doesn't! They both tell the same story throughout, certainly with tongue-in-cheek but seemingly without apology. Santa and the Evil Elf are lovers, with Santa as a domineering dom and Elf as his under-appreciated buttboy houseboy. The relentless dom that Santa is, he's riding Elf constantly for being a slacker and needing to be disciplined. Elf is the fiesty cub who decides he's going to challenge his bear daddy once and for all. Sure, he may bottom by night, but he's determined to climb on top and whip Santa's mind-blowing ass by day. I both applaud and empathize with that goal!

It's a formula that Thunder's is doing with increasing skill, I think. They're fully committing. They've always, from the very beginning, had their tongues firmly in cheeks. Most of the Thunder's wrestlers display a sharp-witted, self-deprecating sense of humor that's quite endearing. More and more, they're bringing a smart and smart-ass sensibility to their matches, telling a story, letting some homoeroticism hang there in the air without flinching, and seeing the whole thing through without breaking face (which has been a big complaint of mine in the distant past of Thunder's matches).

So in addition to everything Joe has to say about Secret Santa v the Evil Elf, I also just want to say that this match really took me by surprise, entertained me, and grabbed hold of my wrestling kink with both hands. Having been introduced to Santa's ass, I'm now combing through the back catalog to catch more of that aptly-named performer's body of work. For the over-the-top gimmickry, for the legitimate pro-mat wrestling, for the powerfully beautiful bodies, and for the all-in story telling, I must say, I, too, am a fan of Secret Santa v the Evil Elf.


  1. My order is already in for something else by Secret Santa. Bowl full of jelly, my ass!

  2. So much so right about that boy!



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