Sunday, February 27, 2011

Name That Ass

I'm not at all sure how fun "Name that Ass" is for you, but I enjoy it, so here's the second installment. The concept is simple. Based on scant evidence, can you name the homoerotic wrestlers whose gorgeous asses are featured below? Since I received complaints that the inaugural "Name that Ass" last week was too tough, I'll provide you more clues and a sliding scale of difficulty (in my opinion), starting with the easiest.

To start with, this week's ass #1:

You can feel free to name either or both asses here, though I have to say that I'm particularly partial to the ass in purple. This homoerotic wrestling ass is legendary, with a following of epic proportions requiring an entire internet discussion group devoted to it (well, not exclusively to the wrestler's ass, per se, but to the wrestler). This wrestling ass appears in a stunning 32 homoerotic wrestling products including approximately 36 wrestling matches and featuring mat wrestling, ring wrestling, outdoor wrestling, tag-team wrestling, underwear wrestling, 2-on-1 wrestling, as a face (always), as a jobber, as a heel... If you still need more clues, spank yourself on your own ass for not having been sufficiently inculcated into the iconography of contemporary homoerotic wrestling, and then picture these glutes with the word "SPEEDO" stitched across them. Seriously, this is a gimme. For advanced players, name his opponent here, the match, and the sexiest body part of that hunk.

Moving on to a slightly (just barely) more difficult challenge with ass #2:
This butt also belongs in the honored iconography of homoerotic wrestling, as far as I'm concerned, despite having a much briefer tenure in the business. This muscle stud took gay porn and gay wrestling by storm around nine years ago. Tabulating his work is entirely subjective (as are all statistics), so by my count I'm crediting him with being featured in 2 homoerotic wrestling releases, appearing in 3, and wrestling for credit in 3 matches. He ducked out of gay porn as abruptly as he appeared, working under a new name and attempting to re-craft his marketability into a non-porn fitness god. Sadly, reports are he died tragically young a few years ago. Haven't put your finger on whose ass this belongs to yet? Again, another spanking for you, and I'm assigning you check with Joe at Ringside at Skull Island for some tutoring to get you up to speed, because, as always, Joe knows exactly what I'm thinking.

Now to ass #3:
This is the most wrestling exposure I can find of this tasty ass, with the helpful assist of another hottie to wedgie the hunk's trunks for our pleasure and the wrestler's humiliation. I'm not going to give you too much on this one, because if this ass is not quickly apparent to you, you need to be remanded a couple grades backward for more remedial homoerotic wrestling ass education.

Ass #4:
I say this is another iconic homoerotic wrestling ass that possesses both rare, fantastic beauty as well and possibly unmatched longevity. I'm aware of this ass's work for three different promotions, though I think the ass itself may never have been as beautifully exhibited as in the match from which this pic comes. The opponent's ass is world class, as well, as far as I'm concerned. That's it. This is supposed to be the tough end of the game, so no more hints from me on this one... other than that this gorgeous, hardworking boy can speak Spanish. Okay. No more.

Ass #5 is unquestionably the most challenging entry in this week's game of Name that Ass:
As far as I know, these marble carved glutes appeared in exactly one homoerotic wrestling release, arguably featured in one or two matches, depending on how you slice it (I say it's one match). The rarity of appearance of this ass makes this admittedly highly difficult. It will almost certainly not help you to give you the hint that this stud was 5'8" tall and reportedly around 178 pounds at age 25 when he wrestled his one and only homoerotic wrestling release. If you haven't already recognized him, it probably also won't help you to know that this homoerotic wrestler had the added disadvantage (or advantage, depending on how you look at it), of not understanding anything his opponent said during their match(es). While this final challenge for you this week might seem esoteric and random to you, I'll justify myself by saying that even though this wrestler was a one-hit wonder, he was instantly and indelibly seared into my wrestling kink consciousness as possessing a body and a ferocity that drives me wild.

You may compare notes and work on your homework together, but your final answers should be in your own words. Extra credit for naming the matches and the opponents, and extra-extra credit for correctly guessing that I think is the sexiest body part of the boy in blue featured in pic #1.

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