Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Backseat Driving

Yesterday I was full of myself sufficiently to presume to offer advice to the hardworking, creative minds at Rock Hard Wrestling. I'm such a backseat driver. Worse, I'm the first to admit that I've never in my life produced a homoerotic wrestling video, so I'm sure I can't imagine the challenges of working with athletes, sets, lights, cameras, gear... Producers of homoerotic wrestling are always free to slap me upside the head and chew me out for second guessing them all the time.

Dane Tarsen v Leo Lessard - BG East's Britbouts 2
One thing I recommended to RHW yesterday was that even without explicitly sexing it up, they'd probably speak even more provocatively to the gay wrestling kink crowd with some of the bread 'n' butter devices that signal a wrestling match is at the very least implicitly homoerotic, and not just latently. For example, some nipple torture seems to me to be a tried and true move that directly links dominating pain and homoerotic pleasure.

Chip Slater v Jeff Jordan - BG East's Wrestlefest 2
Take Chip Slater and Jeff Jordan from BG East's Wrestlefest 2 (I love that entire collection!). Chip is a notorious sadist who, I believe, never failed to crank on his opponent's balls with awesome viciousness. Perhaps it was when Jeff had the temerity to grind Chip's nose against his pec in a face-rearranging side headlock that Chip couldn't help but notice the beautiful target of Jeff's nipples. Sure enough, climbing on top and twisting until the hunk screamed, Chip latched onto Jeff's nipple like a clothespin.


Shane McCall, who was in the audience for Wrestlefest 2, must have been taking notes. When Shane had a go at Jeff a while later for X-Fights 23, he seemed to be taking a long, hard look at Jeff's sweaty pecs and shiny nips as Shane reveled in the sight of his domination in the mirror in front of him. Did Shane have a flashback to Chip's assault on those very same big nipples?
Shane McCall v Jeff Jordan - BG East's X-Fights 23
Whether or not it was an echo of Chip, Shane inevitably slapped Jeff to his back, immobilized the hunk's right arm behind his neck and trapping Jeff's left arm underneath Shane's body. With Jeff's big, round pecs completely vulnerable and open, Shane grabbed hold and cranked on the dial with gusto.


The pain contorting Jeff's face juxtaposed with the wide eyed, enraptured joy on Shane's face as he watches the fruits of his labors is absolutely smokin' hot.

Dick the Prick v Patrick Donovan - BG East's Ringwars 4
When Patrick Donovan faced Dick the Prick in Ringwars 4, you had to expect Patrick's broad, sexy pecs and gorgeous nipples to be in the sights of the Prick. Pretty much everyone had a go at squeezing every ounce of suffering from Patrick around that point in his career. Tall, handsome, lanky but with aesthetically compelling muscle tone, Patrick was on the menu over and over again.


Which made it all the sweeter when Patrick laced those mile long legs around the Prick's abdomen and trapped Dick'a arms over his head, in order to have an unobstructed angle to pinch the punk's right nipple. You can just see the look of fierce concentration forming as Patrick begins to go to town. There were a lot more blunt forms of abuse that Patrick could have employed at that very point, but his choice to twist the Prick's nips so methodically signals to me that this is far from being simply about beating his opponent. This is about the delivery of pain for both physical and sexual domination.

Bud Orton v Mark Nelson - BG East's Wrestleshack 4
There was nothing but sexual domination that ever seemed to be on Bud Orton's mind. Bud seemed to have a look about him as if he was perpetually moments away from an orgasm. Sweat soaked and aroused in Wrestleshack 4, he looks absolutely ravenous as his gaze fixes on Mark Nelson's pecs.


Trapping Mark's wrists behind his back, sure enough, Bud proceeds to torture his opponent's nipple with his teeth. Of course, anything done with a wrestler's mouth is going to be that much more homoerotic than if it were done with any other part of the body. RHW may want to pay it straighter than that, but the theory stays the same: some focused attention on nipples signals this is homoeroticism and not just latent sexuality disguised as macho aggression.

Rusty Stevens v Mitch Colby - BG East's The Breaking Point
Examples are everywhere, of course. One of my favorite examples to illustrate pretty much anything is Rusty Stevens' clash of the titans with Mitch Colby in The Breaking Point. Rusty puts on a cocky, "I'm impervious" face to start any competition, but the display of his gorgeous body above seems to center his left nipple like a target.


And, indeed, Mitch takes aim and scores with a love/hate maneuver of simultaneous nipple twisting and kissing.

Kid Leopard v Rusty Behr - BG East's Punishment 1
On and on, nipple torture has a long and storied role in the homoeroticism of homoerotic wrestling. So RHW (or any other wrestling company, for that matter) is welcome to tell me to go fuck myself for backseat driving. I'd totally understand. And yet, still, I must persist. Give me a little stronger dose of the homoerotic in my wrestling if you aim to really satisfy.

2 comments:

  1. Just yesterday I was in the same mood and rediscovered the joys of CanAm Supermatch 14: Jimmy Dean v. Beau Hopkins. Smooth Jimmy goes to town on the hairy stud, turning his pecs pink, twisting his nipples and racking his sack in the ring. I never got as far as the oil pit.

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  2. Jimmy and Beau! Good times, Dave. Awesome, classic homoerotic wrestlers. I don't blame you for not managing to make it to the oil pit.

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