Sunday, March 6, 2011

Name That Tat

Wow! There was a spike in the traffic through the blog yesterday, with almost 3,500 page views and close to 1,500 visitors. That must include a lot of new folks walking through the door, so a special welcome to those of you just tuning in. While this blog is never a numbers game, it certainly does include fun and games. So for this week's quiz, take out your number 2 pencils and get ready for a little twist. I'm changing up our subject for today. Rather than asses, we'll be playing, "Name That Tattoo."

The rules are the same. On scant evidence, see how many of the following homoerotic wrestler tattoos seem familiar. For full credit, name the wrestler with the ink. For extra credit, name his opponent and the match. Advanced students ONLY should proceed to item #5 below, because I'm the first to admit that it's a damn tough one.

First up, tat #1:

I don't anticipate regular readers of the blog will require any additional clues, but I'll give them to you anyway, just to make sure we all have a little taste of success early on in the quiz to keep us from starting off demoralized. Clue #1, this homoerotic wrestler does not perform under the name Gabriel. Possibly more helpful, he also has some smattering of additional tattoos around his hips and crotch that look like lipstick marks (I'd kiss that!). My final clue, because you certainly don't need more, is that this tatted wrestling wonder possesses the record for holding the title as my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy longer than anyone else. This is an open-book quiz, so, seriously, you have no excuse at this point.

Tat #2:

Damn, this man is a work of art. I've been sorely missing him from the homoerotic wrestling scene, though I get my dose of him regularly by following his many "tweets." A musician, an educator, a former favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy of mine, and a wicked smart piece of work. I'm rating this item only slightly more challenging than tat #1, and as I mentioned, this is an open-book quiz, so no more clues for you.

Tat #3:

Fans of this petite homoerotic wrestler were a little stunned when he returned from a hiatus in front of the camera with a liberal coating of ink. His homoerotic wrestling moniker does not start with a J or a G, but he's a gorgeous, scrappy, ferocious little pit bull who, let's face it, tends to get his ass handed to him by the much, much (much) bigger boys in he battles in the one production company he works for. In fact, I'd say it's a miracle that he's managed to avoid serious, life-threatening injuries even playing with the body building mega monsters he typically faces. He must have God on his side. Now I've said too much.

Tat #4:

I'm not sure whether you'll find this gorgeous ink easier or more difficult to name than the owner of tat #3. His tenure in homoerotic wrestling was tragically brief, but he accounts for a whole lot of viewing pleasure from me. He's participated in the NOH8 campaign. The arm about to choke him out in the pic above is much more familiar to frequent readers of this blog (and also belongs to an inked hottie). That's more than enough said. This one is supposed to be hard.

Tat #5:

So I'm serious now, this one should only be attempted by advanced students. Remedial homoerotic wrestling fans will likely only find this bewildering. This homoerotic wrestler is included in today's quiz because, like the owner of tat #4, he accounts for many more moments of climactic pleasure of mine than his scant homoerotic wrestling resume might imply. Making this extra tough is the fact that he's unlisted in the wrestler profiles of the company he wrestled for, despite his having appeared in 3 wrestling tapes dating around 6 or 7 years ago. That's it. If he caught your eye as commandingly as he did mine, the bull skull inked to his hot left pec will instantly ring a bell for you. If not, you'll have to hit the library and put in a whole lot of study time to pull this one off.

As usual, feel free to play at home, but you're also welcome to compare notes with one another in the comments below. The first player to score all possible points (wrestlers, opponents, and matches - even the matches for the posed pics where no opponent is visible!) on this assignment (before I reveal the answers in tomorrow's post) can claim the prize of a pic of one of my own tats, just to make things (possibly) more competitive for you. You may begin...

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