Monday, April 18, 2011

Asses Named

I heard from a couple of you playing along with this week's Name That Ass quiz. I hope that the quiz remains entertaining and challenging for you. If nothing else, you really should take another look at this fantastic asses on this entertaining homoerotic wrestlers!

Ass #1 belongs to...
BG East's Chace LaChance.


This hot little car thief will remain intuitively linked in my homoerotic wrestling memory to my reigning favorite  homoerotic wrestler - non-pornboy division, Lon Dumont. Chace's first appearance was as Lon's tag team partner in their doomed outing against Donnie Drake and Doug Rand in Tag Team Torture 12. Chace showed up again against Donnie in Tag Team Torture 13, still managing to get battered and humiliated even in a 2-on-1 team up with Brent Salvo against Donnie. But in his third match, with his ass pictured here, he proves that he's not just another pretty jobber as he demolishes Kieran Dunne in Jobberpalooza 11. There something about his club-ready perfect face that makes me dislike Chace as a reflex. I've known too many pristinely tanned and toned pretty boys like that who always make me feel a little inadequate, which is why I think Chace could have a big future as a jobber (so that we can enjoy watching the pretty one destroyed) or a surprisingly nasty pretty-boy heel (something that pretty has to have an evil core, doesn't it?).  



Ass #3 belongs to...
Thunder's Arena's recent rookie muscle boy, BamBam.


A wrestler who gets the sort of review that Joe at Ringside at Skull Island gave BamBam's debut against fellow fresh faced rookie Antonio a while back, had better have a killer body going for him, because apparently his wrestling leaves a lot to be desired (and I agree with Joe's tastes and assessment 99.84% of the time). Fortunately for BamBam, he does indeed have that sweet round ass of his to hold our attention, even if he's got a long way to go to sell a wrestling story. I have it on my to-do list to watch BamBam's Mat Wars 28 session with sweaty veteran Cameron Mathews. If anyone can initiate an eager muscle stud into what it takes to deliver, surely it's Cam.



Ass #3 belongs to...
BG East's rookie delight, Marc Merino.


We've only had an opportunity to see Marc in Gear Wars 2, getting the full treatment from fellow rookie, Andee. I've only seen the stills from this match so far, but it looks like an extremely hot story with a very happy ending using the ring ropes to their fullest and most entertaining advantage. Marc's ass looks extremely spankable.



Ass #4 belongs to...
Naked Kombat's boldly named rookie, Adonis.


NK has been over-selling their rookies lately, in my opinion. Every fit lad with a pretty cock is packaged as a muscle god with a dick of death. I was, therefore, instantly skeptical of handsome young Adonis here in his one and only match, to date, debuting against Gianni Luca. Even with a creepily low BMI, Adonis still delivers highly entertaining homoerotic wrestling. With the presence and command that no rookie has a right to, Adonis serves up a heaping helping of humiliating domination that, I can't deny, turns my crank. While his ass is certainly not the roundest or most squeezable or most spankable, it's hard as marble and incredibly awesome to watch in action (as is the rest of him).



Ass #5 belongs to...
BG East's Pete Reynolds.


This might be classified as a "trick question," but by no means does personal trainer Pete here fail to meet the qualifications I set forth in this theme-set edition of Name That Ass. Despite not having wrestled for 17 and a half years, he did, indeed, apparently appear in only one homoerotic wrestling product, namely BG East's Fantasymen 5. So he may not be the freshest meat on the table this week, but he's perpetually and eternally a homoerotic wrestling rookie with a world class ass. His extremely brief tenure in the biz, perhaps, could be due to his misfortune in debuting against one of the classic baddies of all time, Psycho Capone. I think all rookies should take note: if you're slated to debut against a wrestler named "psycho," you might want to renegotiate your contract.


SP & AH posted very respectable scores this week. I will endeavor not to overcompensate for Topher's advanced-level performance in past quizzes, and hopefully future editions of Name That... will be entertaining, challenging, and manageable.

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