Monday, April 25, 2011

Cocks Named

No one ought to be surprised that it was Topher who officially earned the first "Name That..." perfect score. He's a homoerotic wrestling connoisseur who knows his stuff! Even with housework to do and guests to entertain, he still managed to correctly name all five of the cocks in yesterday's quiz, along with all five (six, really) opponents in the matches pictured. In addition to being quiz master for the week (should that be cock master?), Topher gets a photo of one of my tats (whether he wants it or not) and he can name the subject matter for next week's quiz, if he likes. Let's just review the excellent work that Topher correctly turned in...

Topher correctly identified cock #1 as belonging to...
 And specifically, this is Derek's gorgeous cock after taking a prolonged and paradigmatically vicious ball beating at the hands of the master, Kid Vicious in BG East's Ball Bash 1.
And as for why I would delight in discussing "deceased French philosophers" with Derek on our fantasy date (prior to a multiple submission/emission wrestling marathon back at his place), Derek's website describes him as into post structural philosophy, along with his interests in wrestling, bondage, and safe sex. That's one well rounded man with one profoundly inspiring body!

Cock #2, indeed, belongs to...
...BG East's Casey Cutler.
And Casey's aesthetically pleasing phallus is here on display for not only you and me, but also his opponent for Ringwars 3, Dick the Prick (thus, aptly named). BG East describes Casey as Wade Cutler's  "gorgeous younger cousin," which makes it a crying shame that we never saw the cousins go head-to-head (much less, cock-to-cock). I've harbored a deep, deep infatuation with Wade, but Casey took the erotic a step farther in his wrestling than his cousin ever did, and for that we (and, I'm sure, Dick the Prick) are grateful.

Topher zoomed right in on cock #3 as belonging to...
...Naked Kombat's DJ.
And impressively, Topher managed to tease out that this beautiful uncut cock-shot comes from DJ's masterful humiliation of Dragon, who I gave a hard time for in my review of the match because I think Dragon has a dangerously low BMI (thus I'd buy him a hamburger). DJ's cock in the sex round is a marvel. The python is so long, it's no wonder that every opponent he faces at one time or another delights in racking up NK points by giving it a firm tug (and often suck). But lately, 9 times out of ten, most of DJ's opponents get to know his cock up close and personal as he first shoves it down their throats and then, after a pony ride, pounds it up their asses.


Cock #4 and its opponent appears to have given Topher the toughest challenge as belonging to...
Can-Am icon (Tom) Flex, staring down the gaping mouth of his opponent, Guy Bolton in their self-titled release.
 
 There's something cringe-inspiring in me about this pic of Guy's teeth looking like their about to bite into Flex's sac. It's not as if I blame Guy, though, for reflexively opening wide with that meat hanging inches from his mouth. On the recurring theme of what rides should be offered at a homoerotic wrestling theme park, I think oiling up a classic, naked Tom Flex and having patrons take turns in a chin-first head-scissors should rank pretty high up there.


And Topher did eventually nail down, so to speak, cock #5 and its opponents...
 ...as none other than Trent Diesel sitting very pretty on top of Alex Slater, after having beat Patrick Rouge right out of the arena.
 Hot damn! There's just nothing about Trent's body that doesn't rock me hard. His ass was featured in the very first Name That Ass quiz. I'm sure his tats will show up in a Name That Tat quiz. And in addition to being the reigning title holder as my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy, Trent is also the inaugural and subsequently 2-time homoerotic wrestler of the month. Do you get the impression that I'm a fanatic? His "tie" in his last singles match at NK still sits under my skin, but Trent's stock, just like that absolutely picture perfect erect cock of his, continues to trend decisively upward.

Frankly, I think Topher's accomplishment this week should signal that he needs to start his own homoerotic wrestling blog, but I'll understand if he doesn't. It's a time suck, big time, and there are always critics lurking around the corner to slap you around if you get too full of yourself on your own blog. But Topher is absolutely teacher's pet, and he deserves a hearty congratulations and a swift smack on the ass. Well done!

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