Saturday, May 21, 2011

Enraptured

While a California nut job has garnered unfortunate attention for predicting that the world will "end" today, I have to reluctantly admit that I'm having a profound religious experience at this very moment. I haven't been "raptured," but I'm enraptured by yesterday's release of the latest BG East catalog. So much eye candy! Surely there's some divine inspiration bringing together the likes of coverboy handsome muscle stud, Marco Carlow, and Dev Michaels with BG East-style motel wrestling. And speaking of divinity, I'm powerfully provoked by the promising return of the lickable body of Angelo Blanco in lip-smacking, dicks out, asterisk-punctuated Masked Mayhem 8. I'm aching to see Jonny Firestorm and my former homoerotic wrestler of the month, Bobby Horton, sorting out who's badder, now that I've read Joe's preview review. But it'll probably come as no surprise that it's Gut Bash 8 that's made the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel's Messiah ring in my ears.


I'm on board with anything I can get my hands on starring my favorite homoerotic wrestler - nonpornboy, Lon Dumont. If there were ever abs screaming out for gut pounding testing, it's the competition-quality physique of sexy Lon. Sweet Jesus, that body brings a tear to my eye! Lon's sporting a shaved head, so if I'm tracking his heads-up from my interview with him a couple of months ago, this match against Joe Robbins must have been taped sometime last year.


Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! Behemouth 6'2", 240 pound Joe Robbins stacked up side-by-side against crystal cut, 5'7", 145 pound Lon is a heaven-sent scenario. I'll take some big v small wrestling fun anyday, but when "small" is the physique of a podium-topping competitive bodybuilder, this just opens up incredible possibilities of homoerotic wrestling paradise.


Holy shit! Lon in still frame getting an ab-workover by big Joe is perfection. So I'm not sure how to upgrade on perfection when it comes to Lon's razor sharp wit and fast-on-his feet cocky banter forged from years of pro-wrestling. More of Lon is always an answer to prayer, but gut pounding from a beasty Joe is pure, unmerited, divine grace.


Ah, hell, but wait... Joshua Goodman (that's Mr. Joshua to you!) shows up on the other side of this Gut Bash 8 package. And speaking of packages, Mr. J has got to have made a pact with the devil, to be that handsome, that gorgeously fit, and having that much heft to have to stuff into skin tight trunks. It's no wonder that Mr. J is the top contender in my book, to be in line to challenge Lon for the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler - nonpornboy. 


Damn, damn, damn! While I still say every Mr. J new release ought to repeat the storyline of Matmen 21 (Mr. J challenges an amorous admirer to wrestle for the opportunity to earn the reward of full contact bodyworship of Mr. J), I won't turn my nose up to Mr. J putting his "20 pack" on the line in a gut pounding ring battle with big Eddy Rey.


The sight of Mr. J squeezing Eddy's face between his muscular thighs as Eddy is tied up in the ropes makes me think all sorts of delightfully guilty thoughts. One of those thoughts is that this ought to be one of the rides at that homoerotic wrestling theme park that I've been fantasizing about lately. I'd wait in line to take Eddy's place here, that's for certain. Mr. J is one of the best at making being bad look so, so good. He's a devilish, sneaky, powerful, egomaniacal hunk who is always chomping at the ass of my favorite homoerotic wrestler- nonpornboy, Lon for my loyalty. It's like Lon is there, flashing an ab-crunching double bicep pose on my right shoulder, and Mr. Joshua has one hand cradling the back of his head and the other stuffed down his trunks (rearranging his manhood), on my left shoulder.

And here I am, right in the middle, in pure heaven!

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