May set the table for a truly phenomenal homoerotic wrestling feast. To pick just one is, as always, just a little torturous. Never one to shy away from a little punishment, I've thought about this long and hard. I nearly copped out and pronounced another tie, but by a hairs breadth, I've settled on one homoerotic wrestler who claims the title of my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month.
Meet my new homoerotic wrestler of the month...
BG East's Jonny Firestorm.
Several readers had thoughts and comments about the difference of opinions that Joe and I expressed over BG East's last catalog release. Somehow, the world feels back on its axis now that we've returned to the 97.3% of agreement that Joe and I share in our homoerotic wrestling tastes and preferences. I couldn't agree with him more, in fact, when he announced a few weeks ago that Jonny and Bobby Horton's match in BG Bad Boys 2 is destined to be a classic. I love this match, and I'm crazy for both Jonny and Bobby from start to finish.
The success of this match for me is comprised of dozens of small, potent moments. The opening posedown has me laughing and adjusting my crotch at the same time, as "little" Jonny works extra hard to measure up next to an opponent of equal fitness and an additional 7" in height. These delightful, small potent moments also include Jonny's brutal wedgie on Bobby early on, baring Bobby's beautiful buttocks for an over the knee spanking. Equally potent and provocative, Bobby nearly shreds Jonny's silver trunks in a retribution wedgie later on.
I'm delighted and completely turned on by the bright, bright red palm prints that rage for minutes across Bobby's beautiful pecs as a result of Jonny's go-to chest smack.
It's a small thing, I know, but I'm thrilled by the spine busting hip toss that whips big Bobby out of the corner with such velocity that it knocks his vanity mask sideways.
Someone else may not give a damn, but both of these boys catch air, and the brutal ballet that is 6'2" Bobby soaring for miles on this way to splashing down brutally, crushing 5'5" Jonny helplessly in the corner is incredibly satisfying. This is such a hot battle of fresh young heels that, truthfully, I nearly relented and named both Bobby and Jonny co-homoerotic wrestlers of the month (which would have pushed Bobby into the extremely elite category of being a 2-time title holder). But as entertainingly as both of these bad boys tell a story and sell their sadistic characters, Jonny has the razor's edge for my affections here. It may be his head butt into Bobby's abs as the big boy was still trying to recover, flat on his back, from a barrage of stomps. Perhaps it's Jonny's softball-size biceps, which are likely no bigger than Bobby's but on his smaller frame simply look gargantuan. Maybe it's my secret fetish for the little guy who overcomes the first-glance odds to power back and prevail over a much bigger opponent.
For all these and so many more truly outstanding elements in a start-to-finish thrilling pro wrestling match with precisely enough kink to make my ears buzz, and for Jonny's undeniable athleticism, shredded fitness, incredible salesmanship and sweet-n-bitter delivery that leaves me laughing one minute and 100% aroused the next, I'm very satisfied that I've selected the right man for the job. My reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month could be no one other than BG Bad Boy Jonny Firestorm.