Sunday, June 12, 2011

Name That Cock: The Weiner Edition

Perhaps I should call this week's quiz Name That Cock: Current Events. In our body-phobic, sex-phobic culture, personally I think that we need to see more, not less, cock. In and of themselves, big beautiful cocks should not be scandalous, disgraceful, or disqualifying of anything. So take a long, hard gander at these close-up views of cock, and see if you can identify which "current events" homoerotic wrestler is the owner of each beautiful tool. Let's officially resist the hegemonic assumption that the sight of cock requires public flagellation and Puritanical blood-letting! The rules are the same as always: name the homoerotic wrestlers to whom these cocks belong. If you name all the cocks below in addition to the opponents faced in the photographed wrestling matches, I'll write you a custom piece of wrestling fiction and you can name the topic for next week's quiz.

Cock(s) #1:

Either cock here can qualify for a correct answer, but both will get you the full points you need to progress toward claiming a prize. These two gorgeous, uncut cocks are quite the prize, in and of themselves. I've speculated that the  sexy-as-hell homoerotic wrestler on the right is one of us. The homoerotic wrestler on the left has a just-released G-rated match for another company that's also a current event.

Cock #2:

This cock is hot off the presses news. We've seen him elsewhere in PG-rated homoerotic wrestling fare, so imagine my surprise to discover that he not only is ready to whip out his cock to awe his opponents into submission, but that he has such an aesthetically stunning piece of meat. I've mentioned before that I think it's difficult for really big muscle boys to have proportionally impressive tools, but this breaking-news badboy clearly has no problem at all keeping everything in perspective.

Cock #3:

I feel like we all need to stand up and salute this fantastic phallus. This recent headliner has a body built for destruction to go along with this cock constructed for conquest. With this secret weapon unsheathed, the twink rookie who faced him, eye-to-cock, in this match was always going to go down.

Cock #4:

Here's another hot-off-the-presses cock that I'm terribly excited to see more of. The hard, muscled, tatted body that's connected to this pierced quarter pounder is my kind of homoerotic wrestler in so many ways! The word is that this is a grudge match, and that scores are settled. Considering I also have quite the crush on the lips in this pic, I can tell that this will be a match that I must own.

 Cock #5: 
Admittedly, this is a little blurry, but I love this snapshot of bodies stretched and bent and wrapped up together like a soft pretzel with mustard on top. I'll admit it: I get a particularly perverse pleasure when I watch the homoerotic wrestler whose cock is pictured here get pummeled and plowed. This late-breaking match doesn't disappoint on that count. The really priceless pic (I'll show tomorrow) is the look of worried awe on this wrestler's face as he stares down the mammoth, hard-to-believe-if-you-haven't-seen-it cock on the opponent who's twisted him up in this pic above.

Good luck, gentlemen. I hope you have fun with it, because if we can't have fun with beautiful bodies and awesome cocks, then we deserve the oppressive, far-right, self-righteous straight regimes to which most of us are living under in one form or another these days.

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