Saturday, July 16, 2011

Desert Island Discs

True story: I just recently had to pack for several weeks away from home. I'm traveling for work, and packing is tight. I'll have my laptop with me, and therefore access to watching DVDs. Here's the task I gave myself, though: with limited space, I allotted myself exactly 3 homoerotic wrestling DVDs to bring with me. With that provocative task that I set for myself, the question became, which 3, out of my pretty impressive collection (if I do say so myself), should I bring?

Here's what I came up with to keep me entertained for the next month or so (in addition to what I can snag online):


My first choice was Wrestlefest 2. It's classic, old school BG East, with a live audience of fellow wrestlers cheering ringside and a strong smell of sweat, testosterone and camaraderie in the air (I'm on the record aching for more of all of that!). Having a young, stunningly hard, tanned rookie version of Brad Rochelle opening a can of nasty whoop ass on then-jobber Patrick Donovan can put me over the edge over and over, particularly once he's got Patrick tied in the ropes.


I also love Chip Slater's wrestling stylings (and that gorgeously handsome jaw!), and his humiliation and demolition of Jeff Jordan and his lucious pecs in Wrestlefest 2, with the hunks ringside cheering and whooping, is smokin' hot! To be clear, Wrestlefest 2 isn't precisely my favorite homoerotic wrestling DVD in my collection. But for this trip, with what's yanking my crank at this moment, it was my top pick to pack.


My 2nd choice took me a little while to settle on. It likely comes as no surprise that I'd be packing a bit of Mitch Colby in my bag, but which Mitch masterpiece? I settled on Mitch-cubed, with Mitch's Wrestler Spotlight DVD. His mat match against Patrick Donovan (yes, with extremely tight space, I've managed to squeeze in a double shot of Patrick!) is quite possibly my favorite Mitch-match of all time, but that's hard to pin down because nothing Mitch does ever disappoints. But I'm absolutely enthralled with the give and take between Mitch and Patrick, the closely contested wrestling and tests of strength and tenacity, the gallons of sweat pouring off their gorgeous bodies, and a bearhug contest that I just about cannot make it all the way through without a very satisfying explosion.


When Mitch brings back amorous admirer Marc Rion (hey, what ever happened to that tasty one-hit-wonder?) for the 3rd match in this collection, it's admittedly a little light on the wrestling but delightfully heavy on body worship. There are frequently times when some passionate body worship will get my heart pounding nearly as ferociously as an over-the-knee backbreaker. And worshipping Mitch is a very fond fantasy of mine. Definitely, Mitch's Wrestler Spotlight is undoubtedly going to come in very handy over the next several weeks away from home.


When it came time to settle on my 3rd and final choice, I was feeling a lot of pressure. Saying yes to any one thing would mean saying no to everything else in my collection. Will I want old school? New school? Heavy on the erotic? Heavy on the ring wrestling? In the end, I settled on the classic Hunkbash 2 to round out my desert island discs. As with all my choices, the fact that there are many favorite wrestlers and matches on the same disc played heavily into my decision to stow Hunkbash 2 in my carry-on. First and foremost, I don't believe I've ever sat down to watch a Wade Cutler match that didn't end with me coated in sweat and toweling off. But place muscle hunk Wade into the expert hands of heel extraordinaire and BG East Boss himself, Kid Leopard, and the climactic match of Hunkbash 2 qualifies for one of the hottest, most satisfying homoerotic wrestling matches I've ever seen. Wade is in prime physical condition, wearing iconic stars and stripes trunks (for a while, at least), and suffering in complete shock at being manhandled and sexually dominated by a smaller, less muscular opponent. Classic tale. Iconic wrestlers. Never-fail entertainment to satisfy in the coming weeks.


But there really isn't a match in Hunkbash 2 that fails to offer quality goods to tweak my kink from one angle or another. Blond babyface Barry Longshaw getting stomped into the mat by an incredibly young Kid Vicious with a full head of hair is simply awesome. Psycho Capone opening up his nasty brand of insanity all over big, beautiful muscle boy Terry Reed is over the top hot (something about that match totally sucks me into really pitying Terry... seriously beautiful salesmanship, obviously). But I think my second most favorite match from Hunkbash 2 is pro-heel Bryan unleashing a stunningly hot mauling all over the beeee-autiful and timelessly muscled body of Dante Rosetti. From start to finish, I love every twist and turn in Dante's bashing, but when Bryan looks like he nearly shoves his boot up Dante's tasty muscled ass as the tanned Italian is trapped and spread-eagled in the corner ring ropes, I am seriously moved.

Like I said, these don't necessarily reflect my favorite discs of all time. But I chose them to offer me a smattering of several motifs, tastes, and genres to satisfy me through a variety of potential moods over the coming weeks. I can already guarantee that at some point I'll kick myself because I'm particularly in the mood for some other gem from my library. Just not having access to the rest of my collection will likely heighten my obsession for something I won't have in hand. But I feel pretty solid on these three discs to get me through several weeks of what could be astonishingly dry, boring work. And of course, there are online matches that I'll have at my fingertips as well...

What 3 discs would you have packed?

3 comments:

  1. I can't be decisive on this one. More than likely, what I'd pick today would not satisfy me three days from now. BUT, in the spirit of play and in response to an excellent question, I would pick BG'S BAD BOYS 2 for Firestorm vs Horton, RINGWARS 19 for Blayze vs Mayne, and Cyberfights' VANCOUVER REVENGE for Black vs Brave vs Mathews. In addition (is this cheating?) I'd make sure my laptop still has the downloads for Thunder's Arena NO HOLDS BARRED 3 for Sexy vs Hanson and UCW's AXEL VS KLOWN.

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  2. Yes, that's cheating, but what am I gonna do? Excellent picks, Joe. I should probably also clarify that my extended work trip is taking me to the Boston area, which also makes me particularly partial to bringing BGE DVDs with me.

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  3. 1. Ultrafights 2--Brad Rochelle v. Scott Williams
    2. Hard Pros 2--all the matches are classic, but the Steve Sherman/Terry Reed battle is iconic
    3. Wrestlefest 2--the ROchelle beatdown of Donovan...awesome.

    Of course, one can never go wrong with one of mine. ;)

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