Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Colliding Assets


Rock Hard Wrestling's newest release features a battle between two of my former homoerotic wrestlers of the month: Jake Jenkins and Lucas Payne. Both Jake and Lucas wrestled their way to the top of the ranks in their respective months by turning me on with their gorgeous bodies, snarling cockiness, and highly skilled salesmanship in the ring. Bodybuilder Lucas got my nod back in the beginning of May thanks in large part to his ability to paint such a vivid character with his knack for mocking his suffering opponent and growling like a grizzly. Muscle stud Jake hip-tossed the competition out of the way two months later with his seriously entertaining and hot wrestling savvy that was totally unexpected for such a green rookie.


With two such great tastes climbing into the ring together, this was bound to make me happy. I'm thrilled to report that I'm deeply satisfied with the result! Both Lucas and Jake bring the best of what they do to this match. They're both jaw-droppingly gorgeous. Lucas growls and humiliates like a nasty bully with a serious delight for domination. Jake tosses, pounds, flies, and works that hot muscle ass of his off from start to finish. It's a relatively quick bout, but it has a whole lot of the elements that get me off, including that famously astounding camera work that RHW does better than just about anyone, taking you so close to the action that you can just about smell the sweat beading up in the deep crevice between Jake's pecs as he applies grunting, crushing body scissors on a desperately thrashing Lucas.


The premise for the match plays right into what these boys do best, even if it may be a tad predictable. Jake is "Mr. Skills," calling out Lucas, who is lifting his "baby weights" at ringside, as being nothing but a bodybuilder pretending to be a wrestler. Skill versus power, big versus little, cocky muscle hunk versus cocky muscle hunk, with bragging rights that much more important for these two young, built, and testosterone-fueled bucks. Side by side you might think that it'd be a stretch to sell Jake as ready to stand toe-to-toe with such a big, beautiful bodybuilder. Jake is giving up a reported 3 inches in height (looks like more), and 15 pounds in weight (again, looks like more). But Jake is fucking fast and furious, and I wouldn't doubt for a second that any encounter between these two boys would be seriously competitive. When "little" Jake snaps on a full nelson and locks his knees around Lucas' incredibly narrow waist, clamped across Lucas' back like a tick, the big bodybuilder's voice sounds sincerely pissed and frustrated as he does his futile best to dislodge his opponent. "Get off me!"


I've lobbed armchair criticisms at RHW in the past for any number of weaknesses, but this match seems like solid wrestling entertainment to me. The holds continue to be too brief, each advantage milked simply too little to fully believe that these guys have quite a passionate lust for domination. But the range of the action is hot as hell. Lucas' repeatedly digs his claw into Jake's luscious pec, even while the bodybuilder is crushing the air out of Jake's lungs with his pride and joy "thunder thighs" squeezing out his fantastically enviable bodyscissors (I'd trade places with Jake in a heartbeat if Lucas promised not to let go of those scissors until I screamed). Jake's ability to toss, slam, and have his way with his bodybuilder opponent makes me gasp in awe and count up the abundance of evidence that Jake's had a wrestling resume long before we first saw him at RHW. The sight of Lucas pulling Jake off his feet in a string of bearhugs (including a beautifully suggestive rear bearhug that REQUIRED me pushing pause, rewind, play, pause, rewind, and play) is profoundly arousing. I found it dizzyingly hot to watch the big hunk with those massively thick arms squeeze the pint-sized dynamo and thrash him back and forth, as Jake's arms and legs fly about like a rag doll in my terrier's mouth.


Like I said, I'm loving the range of action that these boys deliver in this match. There aren't many examples of holds chained together like the veterans do so pleasingly, but both wrestlers mix it up with blows, strength moves, throws, slams, and joint work. Jake uses three out of four corners to launch his increasingly deep arial arsenal. Lucas bounds off the ropes on all four sides of the ring in all-in sprints, and I was powerfully entertained to see the bodybuilder choking his smaller opponent in the middle rope in round 2. They cover the geography of the ring well. They spend good time on their feet, in the ropes, in the corners, in the air (particularly Jake), and on the mat. They demonstrate both speed and power, and between nicely sold strikes and some crafty camera work, I found very little to break my suspension of disbelief that these two rock hard hunks were punishing the hell out of each other.


It's a rare thing to see two of my favorites go toe-to-toe, and it simply demands comparison not only in the sense of competitive combat (as in which wrestling hunk is going to come out on top), but also in the sense of competing for my loyalties as the cream of the crop. Which homoerotic wrestler of the month alum comes out on top in commanding my lust, when the two display their assets one-on-one for 16 minutes of high quality wrestling entertainment? Neither of these beautiful boys are losers, by any means, and I hope that we see more of both of them, building on their ring presence and wrestling skills and continuing to thrill with the cocky characters that they've both impressively established.


But as mouthwatering as it is to watch Lucas work up a sweat, it's Jake that sells me hardest and most pleasingly. Lucas pulls his weight, no doubt, particularly with selling the delightful sight of a cocky bodybuilder suffering. But Jake's delivery of the "little man" who's in control, out-moving, out-maneuvering, and yes, even out-powering his bigger opponent is just the tastiest treat on the menu. Jake simply works harder and sells every second one step more convincingly and entertainingly. He holds the initiative for about 2/3rds of the match, and although that demands a whole lot of exquisite suffering from Lucas, it impresses me and arouses me even more to see Jake maintain the energy and momentum with a steady stream of beautifully paced, skillfully delivered, commandingly executed wrestling entertainment.

Keep up the excellent work, boys!

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