Attila Dynasty is The Man. I knew from his debut BGE match against one of my perennial crushes, Denny Cartier, that Attila was going to be a wrestler to keep an eye on. He gave Denny a run for his money, despite all those acrobatics of his not really being up to the challenge of Denny's technically superior mat skills. But Attila has a swagger, a cocky confidence that's exponentiated by his truly astonishing command of that supple, sexy, incredibly flexible body. It's not just the handstand push-ups he can pump out like he's tying his shoes. Attila has an amazing awareness at all times of where his center of gravity is. I mean, every single moment, you can see in the way he holds his body, the way he flies, ducks, lunges and tosses that he is at all times precisely and exquisitely balanced.
Attila's follow-up to his Backyard Brawls debut sheds perhaps a little more light on how it is that this lean, handsome stud has such a preternatural awareness of his center of gravity. In the Science of Scissors, Attila climbs into the pro ring (hallelujah!) and pits quads against quads with the big, dangerous likes of one of Joe's rookie crushes, Trent Blayze. Trent possesses and advantage of over 45 pounds and 5 inches of height over strikingly beautiful Attila. You have to hand it to Trent that he has a point as he looks skeptically at Attila as the two are warming up before the match and asks, "Are you sure you're ready for this?"
Yes. Yes, indeed, Attila Dynasty is ready for this. This match is a delight on multiple fronts. If you like a big v small match, or slow Southern drawl v broad Boston accent, or pounding mat worker v high flyer... so much kink to tweak in one match! And what sneering Trent learns early and often is that Attila's legs may be smaller, but their made out of fucking steel!
Another thing that we all learn early and often in this match is that quite possibly, Attila's freakish mastery of his center of gravity has to do with the seriously astonishing ballast he stores beneath deck! Is that a ship's anchor stuffed down his trunks, or is he just really, really happy to be wrestling?! Yes, yes, the advantage teeters back and forth in this bout (no squashes here). It's a contest of endurance both explicitly and implicitly when it comes to the Science of Scissors. And yes, yes, Trent looks like he could split timber with the vice he applies with those massive legs of his. And absolutely, yes, you will be awestruck with the ability of acrobatic Attila to exploit the ring to the fullest advantage a hard, body-aware, fearless terrier like he is can. But let me just cut right to the chase here: I don't know if that two-by-four stuffed down Attila's trunks is actually wood, or if he's just so incredibly endowed that fully flaccid he still displaces that much water. Whether he's literally turned on or just has a disproportionately blessed endowment to begin with, it's hard to miss the most astonishing feature of these 27 and a half minutes. Attila may be the little guy in this match, but there's nothing little about the outline of his cock stretching his blue trunks in all the right directions!
Joe will probably smack me upside the head for saying this, but for my tastes, there's one superstar newbie in this match and he's attached to a baby blue clad python stuffed down his trunks! Regular readers will back me up when I say that 7 times out of 10 I'm an ass man. My eyes automatically check out a beautiful ass about 3.76 seconds before they assess the crotch. And Attila's tight, athletic ass is incredibly pleasing. However in this case, I'm simply stunned and helplessly hypnotized by this boy's massive member.
In an attempt to make this review slightly about more than Attila's hypnotizing cock, let me highlight a few moments in this match that entertain me most. Pretty early in the match Attila has Trent captured in a face-to-ass scissors with Attila scaling the top ropes like Spiderman. He makes this look like a stroll in the park, but damn! Try it! That's an astonishing feat of strength and balance anyway you look at it. And his cock is already bulging and stretching his trunks stunningly as he's perched in mid air. The whole thing is beautifully capped off by Attila twisting his body off the rope, sending big Trent flipping through the air and landing hard on his back. Hot damn! Another moment that yanks my kink hard is a move that always, always, always arouses me. Attila has Trent's neck scissored from behind (his bulge resting like a quarter pounder on the back of Trent's head). He's already secured yet another scissor-submission, but Attila refuses to let go until he's planked, stretched out with Trent's face captured a half a foot or so off the mat. With a little extra "umph," Attila lifts his hips and then drives them downward, crushing Trent's face into the mat. Hot damn, again!!! I could also comment on the mind blowing (and it wasn't just my mind that blew!) maneuver in which, having been tossed outside the ring, Attila holds onto the bottom rope and lifts his legs over his head to capture Trent's head in still another submission as the boy wonder hangs upside down, resting on the top of his head (sounds thin? I tell you, I buy it!). But let me just wrap up with an image that lingers long and hard. "Little" Attila exhausts the big, slow Southern boy and finally knocks that bastard out cold with his final skull crushing face-to-crotch scissors (for which I would imagine there's a line a mile long to take his place now!). The fiery, hot acrobat bounces in excitement at the sight of his opponent flat out cold. He's bubbling over with cocky swagger. Spontaneously (every appearance to me, at least) Attila plants his hands on either side of Trent's head and does another rock solid handstand, dipping low until his mouth is inches overtop of the loser's lips. "How do you feel, huh!?" Attila snarls down into Trent's slack face. "How do you feel, huh!? Yeah, he can't say SHIT!"