Wednesday, October 19, 2011

A Rose, By Any Other Name

My reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month is none other than the irrepressible Z-Man... aka, Zack Johnathan, aka Zachary Vazquez, aka Zack Holt. There are more incarnations of Z-Man than I can keep up with, but it is entertaining to keep trying!

Z-Man faces "Ace" - Thunder's Arena's Easter Bash 2008
I've mentioned before that my first introduction to Z-Man was on Thunder's Arena. The "playboy model does underground wrestling" concept was quite the hook. Thunder's website shows the cover for Mat Rats 9, but a click through says the product no longer exists, which is sad because I'm hopelessly nostalgic about my homoerotic wrestling. What I remember about Z-Man's first match against Alexander (the Great) is that I had to watch it a couple of times before I could get past Z-Man's smirking and clowning around in order to really appreciate the homoerotic wrestling fare. Happily, I got there, not the least of which thanks to Z-Man's luscious, sculpted body getting pummeled and humiliated.

Z-Man v Alexander "the Great" (the rematch) -
Thunder's Arena's Halloween Havoc 2009
Z-Man has long been arguably the linchpin of Thunder's Arena.  At last count, he has starred in an astonishing 52 Thunder's Arena wrestling matches!  His wrestling resume with Thunder's alone is far too long to examine in much detail (and still manage to do the work that pays my bills to buy more homoerotic wrestling products!), but suffice it to say that Z-Man has wrestled, quite literally, a ton of wrestlers (cumulatively measured).  He's pounded the mats with many of the wrestlers who inhabit my go-to list of sure-fire homoerotic wrestling satisfaction, including Frank the Tank, Ace Hanson, Ice-Man, Mr. (Christopher) Bruce, Cody Nelson, and two beautiful throw-downs with the most aptly named Big Sexy.

Z-Man v Big Sexy - Thunder's Arena's Revenge Match
Holy shit! What a line-up! Z-Man has had that handsome face of his crushed, crunched, battered and beaten by a venerable pantheon of some of the most arousing wrestlers at Thunder's! And he's still showing up for more!!! He's been putting a new round of Thunder's hopefuls through their paces for their most recent "Auditions" series, including beating the lovely (LOVELY) ass of freckled, tattooed, scruffy, mohawked, big-toothed Texas-leaguer rookie, Lex.  It's just impossible to see Z-Man any longer as the naive narcissist whose body and spirit must be broken in proportion to his cocky swagger and self-worship. Z-Man's a veteran now, and I like the sub-text that underneath his big mouth and perpetual adoration of his own body is a genuinely dangerous character whose turn it is to bring to heel a new generation of sexy young meat.

Z-Man auditions Lex - No Holds Barred 14
So Z-Man's Thunder's Arena filmography is, all by itself, of epic proportions. He's a fixture in homoerotic wrestling, even if we were to just stop there. But of course Z-Man hasn't stopped there, so neither should his fans. The first cross-over I caught Z-Man in was his appearance at the inauguration of Rock Hard Wrestling as Zack Johnathan. The plot was built around the idea that Z-Man saw himself as the definition, the epitome of Rock Hard Wrestling. He was the franchise, and the rest of the first generation RHW wrestlers should kiss his perfect, round ass for the opportunity to be propelled to fame on Z-Man's coat tails (really, someone should plant their lips on this perfect glutes!).

Zack Johnathan v Brody Hancock - Rock Hard Wrestling
Again, at RHW Z-Man has faced some of the top-tier, go-to wrestlers that I can turn to just about any day of the month to grab hold of my wrestling kink so pleasingly. RHW's translation of Z-Man into the ring was pure genius, for my tastes. My preference for ring wrestling has long been documented, and Z-Man bouncing off the ropes, getting his face pounded into the turnbuckles, and getting beaten into the canvas turns... me... ON! For RHW, Z-Man's appeared as a ring-wrestling fantasyman against the fantastic likes of Ray Martinez (aka, Rio Garza), Troy Nelson, and 3 separate encounters with the magic biceps of Brody Hancock (aka, Reese Wells). 11 more wrestling matches (and counting?) show up on Z-Man's resume from RHW.

Zack Johnathan & Cody Nelson v Brody Hancock & Troy Nelson -
Rock Hard Wrestling
The concept of Z-Man teaming up with Cody Nelson (who he would later wrestle against for Thunder's Arena), against Cody's brother Troy Nelson teamed with Brody is nothing short of brilliant homoerotic wrestling drama! The plot of a big brother egging on his playboy model partner to crush and humiliate his "little" brother's sweat-soaked muscle physique is pure, unadulterated gold.

Zack Holt bares all for Mark Wolff's Nubreed 8: San Diego
Had enough of Z-Man? Overexposed? Lagging fan enthusiasm? Not a chance when it comes to Z-Man. Just to give his bread-and-butter fan base a taste more, he can be purchased in full monty glory over at Can-Am, appearing in Mark Wolff's softcore series, Nubreed. While we've come to associate Z-Man with Florida, Nubreed pictures him in San Diego, posing provocatively, stripping his clothes, and stroking his pretty cock (with an atypical outward bend when erect!). I've since found more softcore shots of Z-Man from nearly every angle elsewhere from other publications (which don't seem to have any association with wrestling, so despite his naked beauty, my interest wanes there).


But there's STILL more! Just this year, Z-Man migrated to the homoerotic wrestling producer that consistently turns my kinked crank hardest, BG East.  I was highly skeptical of this move. When I first heard rumor of it, I seriously doubted whether Z-Man could lift his wrestling game to the level that I come to expect of BG East products. Sure, I knew he'd look smokin' hot. I figured he could take some pounding. I hoped he could dial down the clownery long enough to let me get seriously hot and bothered.

Z-Man v Patrick Donovan - BG East's Sunshine Shooters 4 
Happily, Z-Man met BG East more than halfway. He lifted his storytelling to new heights in his mat tussle with homoerotic wrestling veteran Patrick Donovan.  Z-Man pleasingly surprised me by taking some fantastic pounding into those punching bag pecs that leave the pretty boy bright red and stroking his muscles in agony. He also made me swallow my bitchy, armchair criticisms by delivering hot, beautiful, arousing wrestling.

Z-Man (where his face belongs) v Kid Karisma - BG East's Fantasymen 33: Muscle Pros
BG East then tossed Z-Man into the ring with my current top contender for the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler - non-pornboy division: Kid Karisma. As I mentioned above, Z-Man (or almost anyone, for that matter) in the ring makes my blood pump twice as hard as any other geography. This match made my head swim for so many reasons, including Z-Man taking to the air, getting pounded in the turnbuckle, trapped in the ropes, and tossed from corner to corner. Kid K's delight in slapping Z-Man's wedgied, gorgeous ass, sitting his world-class bubble butt on Z-Man's gorgeous face, AND rubbing his crotch in Z-Man's nose all made me more passionate for Z-Man than ever before, and propelled Kid K into the top 2 of my reigning favorites ranks.

Z-Man v Skrapper - BG East's Mat Scraps 1
But it was Z-Man's latest mat match against sexy...as...HELL Skrapper that earned Z-Man the title of my homoerotic wrestler of the month AND earned Skrapper elevation to top contender for the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy. And now, I see Z-Man running new recruits through the ringer at Thunder's Arena again. Wow. That's a long, storied, and incredible career, any way you measure it.

This exhausting review of Z-Man's career highlights for me two key points about the long-coming homoerotic wrestler of the month. 1) Have you noticed that Z-Man's fitness doesn't seem to waver an inch? Clearly, this man has no soul left to call his own, because he simply must have sold it to the devil to have a perennially ripped to shreds muscle body like that. I suspect that he may never appear in a "bodies over time" installment here at neverland because his body seems to remain unchanged in every tasty detail! In addition to the bill of sale that must exist between Z-Man and Satan, this also likely testifies to the fact that Z-Man is a ferocious self-trainer, a gifted body sculptor, and in possession of iron-clad willpower and focus.

Z-Man v Rocky Brick - Thunder's Arena's Bodybuilder Battle 16
And 2) I've never noticed before the midas touch that Z-Man has in relation to my own homoerotic wrestling attentions. While I've been long critical of what Z-Man brings to the table (before more recently, at least), it appears that Z-Man either has such an extensive wrestling resume that he was bound to wrestle opponents that have long driven me crazy with lust OR (and I freely admit, more likely) while Z-Man hasn't always left me sold on him as a homoerotic wrestler, he has nevertheless been selling me all along on his opponents. That's a skill set that I admit that I have a bit of a blind spot for.  I've clearly long enjoyed and been turned on by watching hard, hot hunks punish Z-Man for (in my mind) his wrestling shortcomings. Both Kid K and Skrapper were propelled into the top ranks of my overall favorites on the strength of their wrestling against Z-Man.

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month - Z-Man
So maybe there wasn't really a method to his madness, but it's impossible to miss the fact that Z-Man has been a fixture in my homoerotic musings and fantasies for long time. Whether it's despite himself, or because he's a profoundly skilled craftsman in the erotic arts of turning gay wrestling kinksters on by deserving to be punished for weak salesmanship, thus pushing opponent after opponent onward in my estimation as objects of homoerotic wrestling lust - Z-Man has earned my respect. I'm always at the mercy of a gorgeous hunk who can tell a wrestling story with his beautiful body, and Z-Man is doing that with flash and skill that rises above the crowd of boys lobbying for our affections lately. I look forward to Z-Man continuing to add to his epic resume, hopefully with new twists and turns in the plot, but always with the face of an adonis and the unbelievably constant body of a god.

2 comments:

  1. You know, it would be interesting to see him and Bitch Colby bump pussies in the ring.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Interesting is one way to put it! I might call it an inspired idea! Right after you and Mitch sort out your differences, Z-Man should be next in line for Mitch... and then you....

    ReplyDelete

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