Sunday, November 6, 2011

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

What a response to my offer to let you all choose the new homoerotic wrestler of the month!  116 of you registered your votes, and like homoerotic wrestling itself, there were some delightful squashes as well as hard fought, close competitions. Naked Kombat fans did not rally behind their NK pornboy entries (at least not the ones that I decided to nominate for their new releases last month). Sexy, smoldering Alexander Garrett and brickhouse terminator Tyler Saint got their asses pummeled in the polls.  The nominees from Thunder's Arena posted only slightly better showings, with Lance Romance wooing 6 of you to vote for him and Thunder's incredible utility player, Big Sexy, drawing 11% of the vote. But it was the Can-Am boys in a runaway squash over the rest of the field. Aryx Quinn and Landon Mycles were neck and neck for most of the polling, repeatedly leap frogging over one another to outdistance the rest by a mile. The suspense was killing me as votes kept coming up to the very last minute, but in the end, there was one definitive winner of the readers' choice homoerotic wrestler of the month....


... Aryx Quinn.


I've been accused of not giving Aryx his due as a homoerotic wrestling icon with a resume a mile deep. I'm not sure where the concept of "justice" entered the conversation, considering this blog has always been about my personal tastes and biases, but I was completely sincere in nominating him as completely worthy of being at the top of the heap for his work in Pro Tag Team Sex Battle 1.  In preparation for this post, I've watched more of the tag team throw down between Aryx and his hunky partner Brendan Cage taking on former homoerotic wrestler of the month, Landon Mycles and his partner Jake Lyons. Aryx is a snarling, snapping, cheating, sexually and psychologically dominating, relentless pro wrestling heel. In other words, he's our new homoerotic wrestler of the month!


Aryx and Brendan are clearly the heels in this brutality. The match takes its turns ebbing back and forth, but the badboys are never more than a couple holds and a dirty trick away from climbing back on top and beating the babyfaces into the mat.


I love the way that Aryx and his partner Brendan utilize their advantages over their pretty boy opponents to "practice" their sexual domination. Double-teaming blue-eyed Landon in their own corner, Aryx pounds Landon's face into his crotch while Brendan dry humps Landon's stunning ass. Shortly thereafter, Aryx choreographs the scenario of his partner perched on the ropes on the ring apron, with Aryx throwing Landon to his knees in a hammerlock and shoving the blond bombshell's face into Brendan's waiting, eager crotch. Landon's suffering is just so fucking sweet (perhaps accounting for his close 2nd in the voting), but beautiful Aryx's relish in stroking and squeezing his suffering opponent's stone carved muscles is circling very, very close to the very heart of what moves me most about homoerotic wrestling.


With Aryx clearly alpha dog in this dog pack, it's no wonder that he has dibs on the Landon's rocking ass once he and Brendan have conquered their opponents in a sweat-soaked free for all. Once Jake is out cold, Landon is running on fumes even as Aryx is living large and in charge. He gives his gasping opponent an "open shot," which he easily dodges before slapping on a rear choke. Before Landon manages to lose consciousness entirely, Aryx slips around to his front and smacks on his signature finisher at Can-Am, "the kiss of death" (where did he learn that one?). The kiss of death puts Landon out just as cold and beautifully vulnerable as his partner.


The victors divide the spoils, with Brendan owning and plowing twink Jake before the camera turns to study the artistry of Aryx's victory celebration over Landon.  Landon and Aryx replace their partners in the ring for some mutual admiration. I've been crazy lately for wrestling hunks kissing (I know not everyone is into that, but I am), and the pre-sex make out between these two is very satisfying. Aryx adores Landon's incredible body, taking his turn first at sucking long and hard on Landon's cock before having Landon return the favor. Aryx eventually puts his spoils of war on his hands and knees for Aryx to examine and then plow his ass. And then...


... well, I haven't seen what happens then. I've been watching this match in serial format on Can-Am Max, and they haven't released what I assume to be the final clip since the last clip posted almost 5 months ago. From the preview pics on the main page, however, I'm intrigued by the possibility that Landon lures his conqueror into a false sense of security, only to slap on a buck naked "kiss of death" of his own to lay tanned and gorgeous Aryx out cold and set him up for getting fucked in return (see Arena 2 for the same plot device).


I don't know if the turned tables are just an effort to give every corner of the audience what they want (want to see Aryx fuck? want to see him fucked? it's all there). But I do like the drama (you know me), and I enjoy the idea of physically and psychologically dominant Aryx getting lulled into vulnerability right in the middle of sexual intimacy by the muscle stud he just conquered and owned, to be laid out and revenge fucked in return. There's something profoundly satisfying and thrilling about watching Aryx's loud, cocky, bullying mouth turned into a twisted groan of humiliation in the end.


Hot stuff, gentlemen! You have an excellent eye for talent. And considering the remarkably good turnout at the polls, I'm considering whether to add a "readers' choice" award on a regular basis (feel free to weigh in with your opinions about the possibility). Considering this blog has always been primarily about my own tastes and biases (I've mentioned that before, right?), I'll probably take back the reins of crowning future homoerotic wrestlers of the month, but since you seem to have had some enthusiasm about getting your opinions registered, we may see about more opportunities for a more "fair" and democratic element to reoccur.  In the mean time, all hail reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month, Aryx Quinn!

1 comment:

  1. Whole-heartedly support Aryx as a winner, he's a long-time favorite of mine... would be my dream to wrestle him. And Landon is so hot... I didn't know he wrestles, I only saw him in porn videos!

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