Friday, November 11, 2011

Picking Up the Remote... Again

What the fuck? Sorry about my crass language, but again: what the fuck? Less than a year after the morning "news" landscape brightened considerably with the installment of a blond and blue eyed, 6'3" hunk with powerful arms and big, beautiful pecs behind the anchor desk of The Early Show, latest scoop is that Chris Wragge is out.

Despite his shirtless appearance training for the triathalon, Wragge gets dunked.
This isn't sending me into the spiral of despair and existential angst that Good Morning, America's decision to turn their backs on Chris Cuomo did.  There's a definite hierarchy in my lustful fanaticism for my morning cup of Chris, and Wragge comes in second place behind a certain curly headed Italian with a fondness for fishing shirtless.

Chris Cuomo illustrates while he's still the hottest newsman getting no respect.
However, the rumor is that CBS has decided to replace Wragge with Charlie Rose and Gayle King.

What. The. Fuck?
And now I return to my primary question of the day: what the fuck!? Now, some toothy, nerdy hunkiness from adorable lisper Jeff Glor, and the sincerity of even nerdier West Coast blond pretty boy correspondent Ben Tracey are legitimately entertaining side shows. But replace the sheer hunky sexual magnetism of Chris Wragge with either Charlie Rose or Gayle King and the message couldn't be clearer.

Totally hot back-up singer, but I don't think Jeff Glor can be the headline attraction for this audience of one.
I am NOT the demographic that CBS is aiming for. I suppose it's back to Good Morning, America to relive 18 year old fantasies of meeting George Stephanopoulos in a wrestling ring. Then again, there are rumors that the gorgeous diminutive Greek may be on the way out as well! But of course there's the tragically rare treat of seeing Chris Cuomo doing a guest bit as "legal analyst"on GMA, though it seems like he and Dan Abrams are due for a no-holds-barred loser-leaves-town beat down to once and for all settle whose legal briefs are on top at ABC.

Dan Abrams has both attracted and repelled me ever since O.J. introduced him to the world.
There is clearly no shortage of hunky newsmen who could give drowsy heads a welcome dose of adrenaline in the mornings. The obstinate refusal of the news outlets to dangle some tasty meat to get our hearts pumping is making me contemplate switching to HGTV for my morning devotions. Sure, maybe I won't be as well informed about world events (though let's not overestimate the morning news programs for their capacity to accomplish that), but at least I'll be happy and eager to wake up again.

2 comments:

  1. They ought not to keep toying with you like that...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree, SP. This is the sort of thing that forced me to create an entire homoerotic wrestling universe in which I am completely in charge. I'm sure I represent a very small slice of the audience, but I do reflect a very disappointed slice.

    ReplyDelete

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