Saturday, December 17, 2011

Demanding a Recount

Bodybuilder Battle 46
Thunder's Arena regulars have been burning up the comment pages with regard to anything they can get their hands on with rookie giant, Boxxy. His stats put him at a reported 6'4" tall and 240 pounds. In his native Transylvania, Romania, that would translate to around 1.93 meters and a bruising 109 kilograms. The pairing of 5'5", 135 pound Angel against this monstrosity in Bodybuilder Battle 46 is a stark contrast. Boxxy looks like he could snap Angel in half without breaking a sweat.

Foxxy Boxxy
My characterization of Boxxy as a "monstrosity" is admittedly wildly imprecise. He's clean cut, shaved smooth and remarkably handsome. His handsome must be remarked upon because if you're like me, it may take you a while to notice his face. His body is hard to tear your eyes away from. He also has a deep, sexy voice and hot, Eastern European accent. So far he seems like an impervious juggernaut at Thunder's, but I can't help but think his potential as a babyface is where Boxxy would truly shine. Put him in front of some smaller, sadistic heel and let him learn the hard way that big and beautiful are not all they're cracked up to be in the land of cut-throat capitalism. Just my 2 cents....

Angel works a little catchweight magic on the Transylvanian Terror.
Angel has been staple fare at Thunder's for ages, and his mocking impersonation of Boxxy's thick accent and broken English are sweet drama to start this confrontation. The look in his eyes as he stares way, way up at the Romanian can't be confused for anything other than fear covered with a thin layer of bravado. The sound in his voice, however, is sneering contempt designed to start the battle in the giant's psyche before the physical confrontation begins. While Angel was never, ever going to "win" this match, there's something very hot about seeing the petite, tattooed scrapper manage to schoolboy pin the giant and snarl insults down into his face. I tell you, that babyface-ripe-for-the-plucking angle could be a barnburner for foxy Boxxy.

Boxxy brings much more to the mat than just muscle and hair gel!
That's not to say that the behemoth doesn't pull off withering contempt quite well himself, though. He looks into the camera in disbelief when he steps onto the mat with his petite opponent.  "This is the guy you send me to fight?" he asks incredulously, pointing down into Angel's face. "Come here, BOY!" he suddenly snaps.  "Toys?" Angel intentionally misunderstands the thick Romanian accent. "I don't have any toys!" he laughs.

Now we're talkin'...
Opportunities for Angel to laugh are, otherwise, quite rare in this 21 minute mat match. Watching the big, beautiful Boxxy manhandle the lightweight like a sack of laundry is quite a sight. I know that there are fellow wrestling kink fans who find a one-sided catchweight bout yawn-inspiring, but when the big man really punishes the foolhardy little guy, it can stir something in my loins that I so love to be stirred. Boxxy and Angel use all 4 hands to stir that very spot in me in this match. Like the legions of commenters on the Thunder's boards, I have a tough time not being entranced, hypnotized almost, by the sight of Boxxy's powerful, massively proportional ass. "Best ass in Thunder's," some of the fans are arguing. Until I see him sans trunks side by side with similarly naked Big Sexy, I'll reserve judgment on that count. Unreservedly, however, I'm fully on board with the assessment that Boxxy's butt is phenomenal.

Boxxy needs to be cast as Clark Kent
captured, bound, and crushed into muscleman humiliation!
The big man has moves, too! He possess more agility and speed than a body that size has a right to. "Not so tough now, huh, BOY!!!" he screams into Angel's face as he pins the lightweight to his back under his overwhelming mass of muscles.  "Toys? Toys? Look, I don't have any toys," Angel grimaces as he tries to play from his smart ass deck, which is usually his trump suit.  Boxxy shirks off the ridicule and flexes his gargantuan bicep for the camera while he easily pins Angel's throat to the mat beneath his other arm.

Boxxy has news for neverland readers: he's got more than his fair share of potential!
Boxxy's ego, like his ass, is in perfect proportion to the rest of him. He terrorizes Angel into a decisive victory that sends the message loud and clear: in the land of big, big muscle studs, there's a new giant muscleman who just may be able to give even the biggest bad boys a run for their money. He's going to snarl and shout derision. He'll muscle his way around and look gorgeous kicking ass. I won't be surprised to see him go pec to pec with some other gargantuan bodybuilder bodies, because let's face it, that's the way the Thunder rolls. But I'm telling you, this man needs to be suited up in skimpy white trunks and boots, tossed into a wrestling ring, and given the initiation that all devastatingly handsome muscle men with a fierce belief in the righteousness of superior strength and diligent physical training deserve.

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