Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Kicking Ass and Taking Names

When I posted the reader's choice poll last month for the rookie with the best potential in homoerotic wrestling, I was floored to get a note from my current pick as top contender for the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy division). BG East's Kid Karisma named a couple of the candidates he'd like to get his hands on. I assured him that I'd like very much to see his hands on them, and then I quickly followed up with an interview request. After juggling holiday travels and work obligations, we finally got on the line together for a candid interview yesterday. As you'd expect from the likes of Kid Karisma, he doesn't pull any punches. He names names and calls them like he sees them. His blunt honesty blew me away and sent me scurrying to my library of Kid K matches to "study" them some more with his insider perspective filling in the background. So turn down the lights, kick up the house music, and settle in for a hot conversation with BG East's hardbodied party boy himself: Kid Karisma.


Bard: So thank you so much, Kid Karisma, for talking with me today. I’m a huge fan, so this is quite a thrill! To start us off, I just wanted to share an observation: having watched several of your BG East matches, it appears to me that you enjoy dominating an opponent almost as much as your fans enjoy watching you do it. Is that accurate?

Kid Karisma: That is correct! Well, it’s not that I like to dominate. It’s more that I like to show I am in charge, and how do I make sure they understand that? I make them feel humility. [laughing]

Kid Karisma: In Charge
Bard: That sounds like a fine distinction, but I think I understand. You enjoy making sure your opponents know their place... under you and at your mercy.

Kid Karisma: Exactly! And lets face it...most of them think they can hang, but I have way too much energy!

Bard: You've got amazing tenacity! Well, amazing everything, but your staying power is astonishing. I’ve noticed that, sooner or later, every opponent finds himself on his back in one of your schoolboy pins with your crotch shoved in his face. First of all, excellent work! Second, do you have any holds or maneuvers that you particularly enjoy inflicting on an opponent?

Kid Karisma: Well something that I started recently in the ring is tangling someone in the ropes to show off their body and have total access to punishing them. I did it against Z-man and Jenkins...talk about fun!  And on a mat I mainly like to crank the neck towards a mirror and have them admire my strength.

Kid K teaching Z-Man the ropes of BG East wrestling
Bard: Those are two excellent strategies that I certainly recognize from your body of work (that I've studied extensively). I know it’s a cliché question, but I’ve got to ask it: of the 10 matches BG East has released of yours, do you have a favorite?

Kid Karisma:  Christian Taylor is just fun to wrestle...love that body! Len Harder was feisty. But Jake Jenkins was a challenge and fun, so that one easily wins.  He is small, but his wrestling background and agility made it rather difficult. Plus, imagine getting a hold of that body! Well. I don't have to! [laughing]

Kid K can feel Jake's body melting
Bard:  Your match with Jake is a work of art! Damn, you two are an incredible pair in the ring together, and your complete destruction of him is epic. Any particular moment of that match stand out for you, in addition to tying him up in the ropes, as you mentioned before?

Kid Karisma:  I mean, I truly got to work him over completely! But when I had him in the Boston or bent over my knee...God, you can just feel his body melting and weakening...pretty epic.

Bard: Definitely! You mentioned your match with Z-Man and tying him up in the ropes as well. There was a moment where he you hung him over the top rope like the laundry, took a step back to look at him, and then commented, "Looks damn good from over here." What do you find attractive in an opponent?

Kid Karisma: Well, there are different things I like within all my opponents, but the one thing that always gets me is a beat down opponent.  When you look at them and you know "I just made him my bitch," that gives me goose bumps just talking about it! I just like to win, and I just happen to be a bad ass in the process.

Bard: Well, I've got goose bumps now, too. You are most definitely a bad ass, in the best sense of the term! BG East describes you as 5'8" tall and 170 pounds, but somehow I find that hard to believe. You sure can fill up a camera with all those amazing muscles! Are those stats accurate?

Kid Karisma: Well, I fluctuate. In my matches against Z-man and Jenkins I was at about 180, possibly even closer to 185. I was pretty damn solid. I have thick legs so that always gives me a very stout look.            I played rugby for many years and started again recently so that’s where that build comes from.  When I played at the University, my legs were double the size.

Bard:  My goose bumps have goose bumps now! Solid is definitely one word that springs to mind when I picture you in the ring. You've got amazing legs, so trying to imagine them double the size is blowing my mind! As someone who clearly, and deservedly, loves his body, what would you say is your best body part right now?

 Kid Karisma: Well if I said anything but my ass, people wouldn't take me seriously. It’s fucking huge! And all muscle, I would like to add! But, I say my arms! I have some serious peaks on my biceps, and have you seen my tri's?

Kid K shows off his... triceps.
Bard: When I've been able to tear my eyes away from your muscled ass, yes I've appreciated your upper arms quite a lot. Wrapped around the throat of an opponent, they're profoundly moving to see! What sort of workout routine do you have to sculpt your body so successfully?

Kid Karisma:  I must admit I have been working out for over 13 years now. So I have done it all. But my workout mantra is Form and Focus: Proper form while focusing on the muscle and high reps work wonders. Also, it’s 80% diet. That’s the hard part.  I was raised to be a jock I guess; maybe that’s where my attitude comes from. [laughing]

Bard:  Sounds like your physique is well earned! You know, of course, that you have an army of Kid Karisma fanatics that are completely in awe of the sight of you flexing those peaked biceps over a crushed opponent. What's it like knowing that you've got fans swooning over every inch of you?

Kid Karisma:  Well it is very humbling, first and foremost, I must say! I am always flattered to hear compliments (even though most are deserved), and without the fans supporting me, well you know…you were just thereThe Boss wouldn't schedule me to beat up some punks. But at the end of the day, my body helps, but it’s my attitude that my fans really love.  Look at how many worthless pretty boys wrestle for various companies. Nothing but bodies with nothing behind them, a pretty face to beat, if you ask me. The Boss honored me with kid and karisma, because he saw something. Let's face it; I earned the right to be swooned over. Also, for every person that thinks I am hot, there is one that hates me. At the end of the day none of those punks would say it to my face though! [laughing]
           
Bard:  I think that's really why I picture you as a foot taller and 30 pounds heavier... it's that ferocious, huge, gigantic confidence you have! And I'm certain you are absolutely right that's what fans are so crazy about. Well, that and your superhuman ass. So speaking of Kid Leopard, how did you first get involved with BG East? Did The Boss happen to see your gargantuan thighs sprinting down a rugby pitch?

Red Baron teaches Kid K what friends are for
Kid Karisma:  No, nothing like that. My best friend, who’s been a fan of BGE for a very long time, got the chance to audition with them a few years back. He dragged me along for moral support. The next thing I knew, I was suited up and facing off in a three-way with my friend, aka “Red Baron,” and Cage Thunder. Before I walked out the door, the BG East boys were asking for more Kid Karisma.

Bard: We all owe a debt of gratitude to Red Baron! So, personally I try to avoid bad mouthing any of you gutsy wrestlers who work so hard to bring us such pleasure, but I love to hear the dish. Any inside scoop you'd like to share about any of your competition? Any wrestlers out there that you'd like to tell us fans what you really think of them?

Kid Karisma: [Laughing] Well, there is one guy, but the match hasn't been released. It was easily the most intense match I have ever done. He hated my guts, and he hated the fact that I was much stronger and boisterous. Here’s the deal, if you ever had a chance to meet me, you’d know that all I want is to party. So all the haters I wrestle end up partying with me, and they end up loving me! Except one! [Laughing]
           
Bard: Oh my God. As soon as that match is released, I’m hitting you up for a follow-up interview to hear more about that! You're most recent match was against Hoyt Riley who ended up putting a tick in the Kid K loss column. How the hell did that happen?

Hoyt Riley drops some hurt on Kid K

Kid Karisma: Listen… first off, fat ass sat on me!

Bard: [laughing]

Kid Karisma: …And I was still hungover as fuck! So go him.

Bard: Sounds like that one may still sting a little. What about some of the other wrestlers you’ve faced?

Kid Karisma: Jake is like a little fucking monkey.  I have never seen someone jump around as much as him.  Too bad that didn't help him! In the end, he is just a kid...a nice kid...and I am Kid Karisma… or also known as a bad ass!   And as much as I will get shit for this from both The Boss and the fans...who in the fucking world taught Garza to wrestle? I thought they did a better job in Mexico! I mean, I have a luchadore mask out of respect… but give me a fucking break. But he is fucking hot! You should see his ass up close...mouth watering.

Bard: Indeed, my mouth is watering as we speak!

Kid K has some ideas about what to do to Christian Taylor's body
Kid Karisma:  And I wish I could have Christian on a mat only. The things I would do to his body. Well, yeah, your blog is x-rated, right!? [laughing]

Bard: Do NOT hold anything back on my account! This is fantastic stuff!

Kid K is confident Rocco remembers this fondly
Kid Karisma: Oh, and remember Gear Wars against Rocco?

Bard: Extremely fondly, yes I remember it.

Kid Karisma: God! He fucking thought he was God’s gift to the world. I showed him who mac daddy at the end of the day is!

Bard: That you did! He looked seriously put out to get owned so completely by you. I'd be hard pressed to believe he walked away letting bygones be bygones after he squirmed so bitterly with your ass planted on his face.

Kid Karisma: Listen...if you remember, he tried to get out of shit quick, and I let him sometimes. But he loved every second and every drop of sweat of mine on him.  I’m pretty sure he still plays with his hole thinking about my ass, socks and whatnot in his face!

Bard: [Laughing] That's hilarious!... and seriously turning me on. We'd better change the subject before I completely lose my focus. So are there any wrestlers you haven't faced yet who you'd like to introduce to the ropes?

Kid Karisma: It’s not like I have a thing for taller, or shorter for the matter, but tight lean bodies.

Bard: You're ready to work over anyone with a tight, lean body?

Kid Karisma: Yeah, and some other fat ass to redeem myself! There are a couple of pretty boys out there that I would like to get my hands on.  Can I just say, "Bend over... I mean GIVE!"

Bard: I pity any opponent who isn't in top condition when they face off with you. Strike that. I envy any opponent that faces off with you. You're an artist! Any pretty boys you'd like to name, or should we just leave it at that?

Kid K says Kirby Stone "looks like he'd
love to get beaten by me."
Kid Karisma: Well, there are a few out there.  You know that innocent kid, Stone or whatever...he looks like he would love to get beaten by me.  He could be fun.  Or some novice hot kid that needs a good beating into the game [laughing]. I may actually pop one for that...especially when they can't figure out what just hit them.

BardKirby Stone? Hot damn, that would be incredible! And if you "pop one," I'm buying two copies (if we're talking about the same thing). You've been incredibly generous with your time and remarkably candid! I feel like you've given us some amazing insight into what makes you such a hot commodity in the ring and on the mat. Before I let you go, is there anything else that you'd like fans to know about you when you aren't conquering one pretty boy after another for BG East?

Kid Karisma: You are very welcome, and it was definitely fun chatting with you, even though I got a bit wordy here and there. You know us shit talkers can't help it! [laughing]  I want to thank everyone for their continued support while I am developing as a wrestler, and there are many more hot matches planned that continue showing me at what I do best: kicking ass and taking names! Also, remember that without all of the supporters out there, I won't get to demolish hot ass boys...and what a shame that would be. I also would like to thank you for taking the time to talk to me, and it definitely has been a pleasure. Plus it’s awesome to have someone so attentive listen to me rant! [laughing]

Bard: The pleasure, I assure you, is entirely mine! On behalf of a whole lot of us, we can't wait to watch you put more pretty boys in their place, and by that I mean sandwiched between your monster thighs, crushed beneath your epic ass, or choked by your python arms! We'll keep buying them and loving them as long as you keep knocking them down!
           
Kid Karisma: Sweet. Have a good day!

Bard: You too!

Kid Karisma, ready to party

5 comments:

  1. Here's hoping he takes his fights further! Love to see him "pop one".

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  2. What a terrific interview. Kid K told me he was hearing from fans and asked if I had any pointers on how to respond. I said just be yourself! And what you see and read here is what you get: a thoroughly charming and fun guy with wild and wonderful energy and great instincts on the mat and in the ring. I like all my boys (well, most....) but there are some, like Kid K, who have a special place in the heart of The Boss. Though if he ever again shows up on the mats or in the ring hung-over, I'll have to spank that vaunted derriere and deliver some discipline to this 'other' Kid.

    Kid Leopard

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  3. Very nice interview Bard, though I am incredibly jealous that you got to speak to Kid K! I can just imagine him sitting down, talking to you, in his wrestling gear, getting ready to kick some ass!

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  4. Terrific interview, Bard--and Karisma is such a (yeah, well) charismatic presence in the matches he's in. You and he together give a clear sense of who the man really is. Plus you tapped into some really juicy tidbits about upcoming events that already have me salivating (or something). This post is just one more reason (as if I needed another) to keep following Neverland!

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  5. Thanks, all. Kid Karisma had me laughing a lot throughout the interview (even more than may be apparent from the transcript). He's wicked funny, which I think may have a direct association with how hot I find him in the ring.

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