Friday, February 17, 2012

A Dish Best Served Cold

Tyrell's handsome face smiles sinisterly as he drags
Z-Man by his perfectly coiffed hair to the ring.
I've just started to spend some quality time with Wrestle Revenge, the new release from BG East starring a truly astounding threesome of Z-Man, Tyrell Tomsen, and Dev Michaels.  It's one story that extends across two match-ups. I love a through-story, so I'm thrilled at the overall narrative. Z-Man is up to his old tricks, trying to ice off his next opponent, Tyrell, by making him wait for Z to complete his pre-match grooming ritual in the bathroom. Whatever effect Z-Man expected his mind games to have, they do nothing other than send Tyrell into a fiercely dangerous rage. Z doesn't get two inches through the bathroom door before he's been punched, trampled, face-to-crotch head scissored to submission, and then dragged to the ring by his oh-so pretty head of hair.

Tyrell nearly picks Z-Man off his feet by nothing but his balls!
I count Tyrell among my guilty pleasures. "Guilty," because he's got more enthusiasm than he has actual skill in selling a homoerotic wrestling romp. It's not his wrestling that I really find fault with. He hits his marks and looks nothing short of superheroic every step of the way. But his cocky banter sort of wanders, a little non-sensical and not quite always contributing to pushing the story forward. His dialogue often comes across a little forced to me. Like he knows he's supposed to be snarling and verbally humiliating, but it's a skill he hasn't really mastered yet. However, he's nothing short of a "pleasure" because when he's in the shape he's in for Wrestle Revenge, he's just about the most beautiful thing on the planet! He repeatedly calls Z-Man "pretty boy," which is completely on the mark. Z-Man's mind-blowing fitness and silky smooth, rippled body makes my mouth and eyes water, he's so over the top pretty. But for me (and I'm not trying to speak for anyone else), standing next to Tyrell, Z-Man fades into the background (I know, some Z fans are already furiously typing rebuttals). Tyrell reminds me of the bodies that I coveted as a teenager as I obsessed over every bulge and crevice of the bodybuilders in the magazines I secretly hoarded. His fluorescent yellow underwear/trunks accentuate his fantastic, hard, round ass and the outline of the head of his cock and huge balls dangle in his pouch hypnotically. His massive shoulders, his huge, veiny arms, his astonishingly separated pecs, his washboard abs, his smooth, powerful, lickable thighs... Good God this man is a stunning specimen of the very best of what turns me on and attracts me most in a hard bodied hunk. And his puppy dog eyes just make me melt.

Z-Man rises to the occasion to make muscle stud Tyrell suffer in a gorgeous
piece of homoerotic wrestling sculpture.
As Z-Man has proven every step of his journey through BG East, although ridiculously pretty and groomed within an inch of his life, he's not a fucker to be underestimated! He makes big, gorgeous Tyrell pay with sweat and tears for turning his back on Z-Man. If anything can make me tear my eyes away from Tyrell's magnetic ass, it's the amazing pairing of both of these wrestler's packages displayed so revealingly in their gear. Maybe we've seen the precise sketch of Z's cock outlined so perfectly in these trunks before, but it's a revelation to me. When his package isn't getting clawed and bashed by Tyrell, it's bouncing and swinging like a piñata (which explains Tyrell's reaction to it). When Zack bridges high in an aesthetically perfect leg lock and double arm bar combo indicative of the best that BG East is bringing out of him, his perky cock looks like a flag pole planted at the summit of a truly stunningly muscled physique.

Tyrell shoves every inch of his beautiful body in
Z-Man's humiliated face.
But there's just nothing quite so climactic for me as seeing Z-Man at Tyrell's mercy, his face stuck humiliatingly between his opponent's luscious legs and the head of Tyrell's cock pointing like an arrow at Z's lips. Yes, yes, yes, yes... YES!

Dev defends Z-Man's honor and decides he needs a bite
of that dish called revenge!

When I can gather myself to push play on the second match, I'm thrilled (THRILLED) to discover that Dev Michaels is seriously pissed off at the nasty bashing Tyrell dished out all over Z-Man's playgirl body.  I'd heard the rumor that it was Z that brought Dev with him to BG East, and it certainly seems like big, bruiser, hairy chested Dev takes Z-Man's pounding personally. The back story that beardaddy Dev feels compelled to take it upon himself to exact revenge for smooth, devastatingly prettypretty Z is a fantastically hot, erotic backstory! Fresh off his bagging and tagging poor Z-Man, however, Tyrell is unrepentant and feeling invincible.  He talks every inch as big a game as he did when he was smothering Z-Man's face between his thighs. Big, nasty Dev, however, is not Z-Man.

Dev ties muscle stud Tyrell up in exquisite knots.
Here's the "revenge" in this two act play. There's almost no one I'd rather watch pick apart and exploit Tyrell's perfectly muscled physique than Dev. Dev inspires big beardaddy fantasies I, quite honestly, didn't even know I had. But no doubt about it: I have them, and they star Dev's monster quads, unbelievably huge hairy pecs, and the buckets of sweat that Dev wrings out of his own body when he's working really really hard (which as far as I can tell is ALWAYS)!

Tyrell tastes humiliation.
Dev manages to dish out the most humiliating punishment that comes straight out of Tyrell's playbook in his victory over Dev's boytoy buddy Z.  While personally I think having my face smashed into Dev's sweaty crotch and my head squeezed until I scream would be a ride I'd pay double for, Tyrell doesn't seem to enjoy the experience nearly as much.

Dev works every inch of Tyrell's sculpted body.
As I've mentioned when commenting (often) on Joshua Goodman's package (that's Mr. Joshua to you!), when you've got the heft that Tyrell has swinging between his thighs, you might want to be careful about taking a wrestling match to the level of cock abuse. For the repeated, nasty, often completely unnecessary fixation Tyrell had on punishing Z's dangling baubles, beardaddy Dev uses those massive paws of his to dig in deep and claw the fuck out of Tyrell in a truly gorgeous work of art that technically would be called a single leg crab, but trust me, that does not begin to describe the exquisite sculpture that this is. Sweat streams off of Dev's brow. The veins in his arms flair to the surface as he flexes. His hairy body is glistening as he sits mercilessly down across Tyrell's impossibly narrow lower back. And the black adonis has nowhere to go but down!

Dev OWNS muscle stud Tyrell!
Again, I feel the need to say that this DVD does not contain the height of consistently and technically thrilling pro wrestling. It's not bad, mind you, but when I've got a serious case of wrestle lust that only hot slamming, beautifully told pro/fantasy homoerotic wrestling can deliver, this may or may not satisfy that itch every time. But for three perfectly cast fantasy bodies telling a hot, homoerotic through-story and hitting some sweet marks and showing off each other's world class bodies and sending my imagination exploding like fireworks as I marvel at the true wonders that are their beautifully, perfectly, uniquely sculpted fantasy physiques, I'll but delighted to indulge in my guilty pleasures over and over again.

2 comments:

  1. Hey, Bard. We're nearly through the winter; a mere month remains 'til we once again reach the vernal equinox. It's been a week since your last posting; very uncharacteristic of you, so I figure that you MUST be sipping Mojitos 'neath a Palm Tree on some tropical island somewhere in the Caribbean. CHEERS! Good for you, Wrestle Bard! T'is a well-deserved break for a tirelessly working blogger!

    Once again, your words and images have stirred this wrestler's thoughts... (AND loins), and I find myself in need of "sweet release".

    Tyrell Tomsen is ONE HOT STUD! What a sensational ASS that man has; like two firm, ripe melons that ya' just want to first "THUMP" and then just bite right on into! (SO SUCCULENT and OH, SO JUICEY!)

    Lucky Z-man gets "UP CLOSE 'n PERSONAL" with Tyrell's nicely packaged "dark meat"; now THAT's one HOT "MEAT" 'n greet session! And then in his second match, the tables are turned and Tyrell himself gets "INFORMALLY" introduced to Dev Michaels' "white" meat. The image of Dev Michaels grabbing a meaty handful of Tyrell's "hefty" package and sadistically squeezing it, is enough to make ANY horny, red-blooded guy "shoot his load"!

    "WRESTLE REVENGE" looks like once GRRRReat THREE-WAY...ALL the "way" around!

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  2. Thanks, "MIKE!" I wish I was knocking back mojitos on a sunny beach somewhere. The truth is so much the opposite of that... however, I appreciate your good wishes, as well as your EXCELLENT taste (as in, as usual, we share the same taste). Tyrell is in a league of his own when he's in the shape he's in for Wrestle Revenge. Jaw dropping. Stunning. Like a comic book version of a homoerotic wrestler, with every bulge a little bigger, his waist narrower, and his rocking ass rounder than can be possible in the real world. I love seeing him "handled" by big Dev, especially.

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