When Eli Black powered into the title of my homoerotic wrestler of the month on the strength of his appearance last month for Rock Hard Wrestling, followed quickly by his debut match release for BG East, I decided to see if I could track him down for a follow-up interview to his barnburner verbal fencing match (or brawl) with Joe at Ringside at Skull Island. Despite his stated reluctance to grant me this interview, Eli actually seemed pretty open to the idea from the start, and let's face it, Eli Black loves to talk about Eli Black! Since everything was going my way for this little project, I decided to press my luck and approach the boys at BG East to see if they had any cutting room floor shots of Eli's match with Morgan Cruise. To my shocked delight, in what I think might be a first ever pre-release of shots from as yet unseen BG East matches, Kid Leopard himself sent me some exclusive, never before published photos of Eli in three yet to be released bouts, with permission to share them here! I get the impression that BG East is thrilled to have this ferociously ambitious tiger by the tail. He kept me on my toes during this interview. He makes some extremely bold predictions for his future success in homoerotic wrestling. And combined with seeing the punishment he can dish out and take, my conversation with Eli has made me that much more infatuated with this fierce, rock hard, seriously dangerous hottie!
|Eli Black - ripped, roaring and ready to conquer the world!|
Eli: I'll be honest, I didn't want to take this interview, but as far as speaking terms, you'll see if he ever writes anything bad on me again.
Bard: Well, I'm that much more grateful that you did take this interview! I just watched your debut match with BG East against big bruiser Morgan Cruise. Holy shit, Eli! Your body is ripped to shreds! What’s the secret of staying at that level of conditioning?
|Eli competes in MMA as well as as his sights|
set on RHW and BGE!
Bard: Well your fitness is incredible, and the work you're doing in the gym is phenomenal to see in the ring! So speaking of your match with Morgan, it certainly looks to me like you're toying with the big kid in the opening moments. He's flat-footed, slow, and I get the impression that you could put him on his back in a split second. With your MMA background, do you find it hard not to open up a can of full-contact whoop-ass in the world of pro wrestling?
Eli: [laughing] Yeah, I definitely can't help myself but go. Whether I’m toying with someone or in a grudge match, I'm really good at finding a weakness in my opponents. And in Morgan’s case I could kick and strike him all day long, but once he speared me, he caught me way off guard, which was unusual for me. But I'm more than positive when it’s me and him again, he's done! But yeah, I definitely toyed with him in the beginning. I mean there's no one out there with my skills, so why be scared?
|The Mastodon drives Eli into the|
Eli: Like I said earlier, “masta pussy!” Even so, I wouldn't even say that he's huge! He's not insanely strong. He's nothing special. I am just gonna say “No Name,” because I don't have time to waste on giving that cheap ass a nickname. Next time I see his ugly ass, I'll make sure to cover his face up with his own underwear, with a sign on his back sayin, “Eli Black: I don't want that!," because of how horribly I'm going to destroy him! Other than that, his nickname is just plain stupid, and if I were his reflection in the mirror I'd laugh in his face!
Bard: I know a whole army of your fans who would line up to see you do all of that! What's a good nickname that your fans should call you?
Eli: Hmmm, I like to think I “shutt” down my opponents, so it's only fair to say Eli “the Shutdown” Black. What ya think about that? Amazing? Yeah, I know. I can be known as that too!
Bard: Both options sound excellent to me! So Eli "the Shutdown" Black, I hope you don't mind if I ask another question about your body, because it's quite a favorite topic of mine lately. With a body as amazing as yours, I can imagine it might be hard to decide, but what part of your body are you proudest of?
Eli: Hmmm, well in my other interview I did have a similar question, and since then, other than me getting even tighter and harder than before, it's still an out of the park easy answer: my picture perfected 8-pack (sculpted by the gods themselves), and my ass that will make anyone stop and double-take more than once. And once again, I give it all to God for giving me this cement block for me to be sculpted the way I am.
Bard: Your 8-pack and your ass top my list of favorite parts of your body as well! I'm also a big fan of body art, so I love your tats. The colorful tat down your ribcage quickly caught my eye. It looks fierce, but I can't make out what it says. Any special significance to that or any of your other tats?
|Number one, the highest ranking, aka the best|
Bard: Awesome art, and very cool to see how each piece speaks to your passions and strengths. I think "Primus" could easily be another excellent nickname for you. So when I mentioned to Kid Leopard at BG East that you'd agreed to do this interview, he graciously sent me some exclusive, advanced preview pics of a few matches that you've wrestled for BG East that have yet to be released. First, let me say that you look incredible in every shot! Second, I'm immediately drawn to the evidence that BG East gave you a second shot at evening the score with Jake Jenkins after he defeated you over at RHW. What was it like facing Jake for the second time?
|In a cage, in the ring, on the mat... Eli "Primus" Black is a triple threat!|
|Down to jocks, Eli is determined to exact revenge|
all over Jake's hot muscled body.
Bard: Cannot wait! The shots Kid Leopard sent look like you're on the mats, and you start in singlets, but at some point you're both down to jock straps. Good God, man, that's a hot set-up!
|That ass will command a double-take any day!|
|Eli's got the noose tightening around Jake's neck!|
|Eli's got something in mind if Attila ever tries this again!|
|Eli has Attila all tied up.|
Bard: Personally, I'd love to see some serious shit get thrown down at BG East! First, I'll send you $10 for elbowing Attila up the ass, and second, I'll send you another $10 for interfering with his next match to fuck him up some more! Damn, I doubt BG East has any idea quite yet just how high you're ready to climb!
Eli: I will say that BG East is definitely a whole different world of pro wrestling. Full of cheap ass cheaters and pussies who can only win by taking the easy way out with dirty tricks. Rock Hard is a little more straightforward, less low blows and dirty shit, and they actually like to battle it out to be a true champion. But I'm not going to make excuses. I will overcome it all and be the champ for all wrestling, and I will go in the history books as the best, because I am the best! I train the best. I will beat the best, and I will show every one how to be the best, and what it takes to be.... Eli......... Black!!!
Bard: Hot damn, Eli! You've got me convinced and bursting with anticipation of seeing your master plan play out! Your take on the differences between RHW and BGE is fascinating. I think I remember from your interview with Joe that you didn't have a very high estimation of the scene at Rock Hard, either. Both venues have dealt you some hard knocks, but it sounds like you see the need for different strategies to accomplish your goal of conquering them both.
Eli: Yeah, Rock Hard has a bunch of two-faced snobs, but they’re not as dirty as the BG East pussies are. But yes, I will conquer it all, and I'm going to drag every one of my opponents behind me with a noose tied around their necks!
|Pretty Chace LaChance does some|
chiropractic work on Eli
Eli: No comment on him, but he was nothing that would make me think he ever boxed! Threw a punch at a pillow!!! And I would say he's not gonna be so pretty on your scale when you see him after this match, regardless of the outcome.
Bard: I'll take that as a promise, and again, I can't wait to see that match! So despite having faced a whole lot of guys who did not impress you, if you had to pick one of your former opponents as a tag team partner, who would you pick?
Eli: As much as I hate to say it (and you need to understand I HATE it!), it would have to be Jake Jenkins, only because we both are similar in the way we make shit look good. We both do the work, and he'd be the only one I’d give any type of credit to.
Bard: I can't say enthusiastically enough how I can certainly see how you and Jake make shit look good! I also have to think that the two of you would be a buzz saw through the unlucky ranks of RHW or BG East. So, you've been generous with squeezing this interview in, and I really appreciate it. Before I let you go, I'm wondering if you can talk a bit about what it's like for you to have a growing group of seriously loyal fans who are tearing up the discussion boards singing your praises. You've made a huge impression on a lot of us fans in a pretty short time on the scene!
|Eli Black makes shit look good!|
Bard: That's a challenge that I and a whole bunch of Eli "Primus" Black fans will be happy to accept! Win, lose or draw, there are a bunch of us crazy for more, and I suspect once we see that jockstrap match with Jake, you're going to be getting more buzz than you can imagine! We'll be happy to keep doing our part, as long as you're keeping up your hot work and working that gorgeous ass of yours! Thanks so much for your time, and I hope we can talk again as you keep tearing up the wrestling scene!
Eli: Thank you. It was a better time than the last one. Just look forward to seeing me push harder and harder! I will never let you down.