Monday, March 12, 2012

Aw, Shucks

Thunder's Arena's Python (and his goofy grin)
On Friday I started off my review of the top biceps that turn me on in homoerotic wrestling by marveling at the fierce pythons on Thunder's Arena's new muscle boy, Python. I also mentioned in passing, among Python's many notable features, he's got a damn adorably goofy grin. I haven't seen his debut against Angel yet, but his photo shoot pics are full shots of that toothy, awkward, cute-as-a-button overbite from the slammin' gorgeous bodybuilder. The "aw shucks" homoerotic wrestler has a strong appeal for me. The "aw shucks" wrestler is that rookie who, whether he's got the guns to blaze like Python or not, he sports an undisguisable self-consciousness about him.  He looks like he's got an ocean of insecurity swirling just underneath the surface of a barely managed game face.  Without words, he communicates with perfect clarity, "aw shucks, I'm just lucky to be here." He knows we're looking at him, marveling, fantasizing, and he feels like he should probably do something, flex just so or say something witty, but all that he's got at the moment is that "aw shucks" goofy grin.

Thunder's Arena Dallas goes from  "aw shucks" to "oh, shit!"
Thunder's Arena puts up more than their fair share of "aw shucks" wrestlers.  Before his recent match with Coupe, Dallas adamantly insisted that between the two of them (both with spotty win-loss records, to say the least), he was the bigger chump. Coupe couldn't believe that Dallas could possibly be as much of a jobber as he is. But the look on Dallas' face as they faced off in speedos is priceless. It morphed delightfully from "aw shucks" to "oh, shit!" Coupe is an extraordinary muscle freak, and Dallas, while delightful to look at it, is relatively soft and crunchable standing vulnerably in Coupe's shadow. Self-conscious vulnerability, stage fright, a little bit of "what the fuck am I doing here?!"... it can be a nice element in the typically over the top battle of narcissists who more frequently populate the scene.

Big Sexy and PeeWee give the "aw shucks" wrestling motif 4 thumbs up.
Thunder's took Aw Shucks to (and possibly over) the edge of credulity with the infinitely fuckable babyface who wrestles diminutively as PeeWee. PeeWee showed up to audition for Thunder's knowing full well that he'd get his ass kicked. Big Sexy is more than happy to make PeeWee's prophecy self-fulfilling, but PeeWee keeps the "aw shucks" attitude going from start to finish. He's a hot little muscle stud with some unquestionably hot moves of his own, but even when he's working some rare riding time on Sexy, PeeWee is profoundly insecure and self-deprecating. Even when he's got Sexy so compromised that he could (if he chose) yank down Sexy's trunks and fuck his ass, PeeWee is supremely self-critical and predicts his own demise. Bulging muscles, bulging pouch, bulging insecurity... this works for me in many (though definitely not all) cases.

Showing up for his BG East audition sexy Alexi Adamov
grins nervously for approval from Brad Rochelle.
Thunder's, however, definitely doesn't corner the market in "aw shucks" wrestlers. These days, tall, tasty Alexi Adamov is all about that deep bass rumble and a tenuous certainty that he can, on any given day, kick some ass.  But in his first BG East match, showing up for a faux "audition" after the stealth coup of the compound by heel-turned Brad Rochelle, Alexi is one great big, luscious, gorgeously smooth, ridiculously pretty slice of humble pie. Brad, getting his kicks off of fucking with the newbie's mind, requires that the Russian babyface try on several possible gear choices, each one more made-to-order for a jobber beatdown than the last. Alexi poses for Brad, obeying the veteran's instructions, proud of his beautiful body but seemingly easily unnerved by Brad's strategic verbal jabs and slights. Alexi is just pleased as punch to get a shot at the world of BG East, and recently emerged heel Brad is like a hungry spider, slowly luring the fly into his web to slowly, mercilessly suck him dry.

Morgan Cruise - too smiley to heel?
Morgan Cruise is a quick study, learning nasty-ass lessons from the likes of pro veteran (and current contender to re-take the title as my favorite homoerotic wrestler - nonpornboy division) Lon Dumont on the nuts and bolts of constructing a BG East ring heel. Morgan's most recent appearance was showing that he was taking notes from Lon by turning around and catching ripped rookie (and last month's homoerotic wrestler of the month) Eli Black off guard and pounding the shit out of him forever. But if you missed Morgan's first match, facing off against Lon with the explicit agenda of being BG East's next great heel, then you missed Morgan's "aw shucks" moment (which was, not coincidentally, the same moment that it was crystal clear that Lon was going to own his ass). Morgan flexes proudly. He bounces his pecs in Lon's face. He says the right words about being confident in his own destiny as a big, burly muscle heel. But he's got that unmistakable toothy, self-conconsious, I-can't-quite-sell-myself grin on his face. Lon even notes that Morgan is a little too "smiley" for a heel-wannabe. Lon's crushing of him seems to have squeezed the "aw shucks" right out of him, but no mistaking it, Morgan Cruise initially showed as an "aw shucks" rookie bear cub.

Rio Garza always looks like he can't quite believe
his own luck.
And finally, when it comes to "aw shucks" wrestlers, Rio Garza's tasty hot ass is seated squarely in line with the best of them. Can-Am has exploited what I'm guessing is Rio's genuine state, that of the stunning muscle stud who's a little awed to be asked back over and over to be ogled and admired by armies of gay wrestling fans. When he faced Aryx Quinn (pretty much the opposite of the "aw shucks" wrestler), like Alexi Adamov, Rio was easily manipulated by the mind games of a sadistic veteran. Rio was nothing short of humbled by the status as a brand new Can-Am "exclusive," and with some strategically placed compliments from Aryx, the awkward, sort of embarrassed grin on his face grew. This all simply makes him oh-so-ripe for a humorless and merciless crushing from Aryx. The device works particularly well with Rio, I think, explaining why he showed up wanting Cameron Mathews and Paul Hudson to teach him how to be a pro wrestler. He knows he's strong. He knows the fans like looking at him. But with a little nervous grin, he admits to the pros that he's got something to learn about the business. Cameron and Paul, of course, oblige, and Rio's "aw shucks" awkward grin gets twisted into beautiful agony soon enough.

All those muscles can't quite disguise the self-conscious grin on Python's face.
A little "aw shucks" goes a long way for what turns me on. Overplayed, and it comes across as amateurish and distinctly less than erotic. But sprinkled on top of a hot steaming helping of beautiful bodies, skimpy gear, and hard hammering wrestling, an adorably goofy smile and a self-conscious glance down at one's own feet can make for a sweet set-up to an arousing match.

3 comments:

  1. "...what I'm guessing is Rio's genuine state, that of the stunning muscle stud who's a little awed to be asked back over and over to be ogled and admired by armies of gay wrestling fans."

    Ah... beautiful Rio. Gotta love him! I always think of that line from the Duran Duran song that goes "and when (s)he shines, (s)he really shows you all (s)he can"... (By the way, love the image of him that you chose for this post. So adorable!)

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  2. I love this post. "Aw, shucks" appeals to me, too. And Anonymous above me is awesome. I love Rio--the wrestler AND the song.

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    1. Aw... thanks Stay Puft! You're pretty awesome yourself. But, then, I've always been partial to "jobbers." ;)

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