True Blood. If you watch it and read this blog, that's pretty much all I have to say to instantly arouse you, isn't it? After four and a half seasons of beefier and more beautiful, frequently naked, stunningly gorgeous men, and I'm like Pavlov's dog. Just the initials TB make me salivate.
|Joe Manganiello is sculpture!|
|Joe just has to reach for hit pants and I break out into a sweat!|
|Alexander has Joe under his control. Now there's a fantasy!|
|Ryan Kwanten looks ready to rumble.|
I know I'm not alone in picturing Ryan Kwanten as a homoerotic wrestling god either. Just check Sunday's interview with homoerotic wrestler of the month, Cage Thunder, in which he names Ryan as the one piece of meat he'd put at the front of the line to get the full Cage Thunder ring welcome!
|Even Ryan can't keep his hands off his hot, naked ass!|
|Christopher Meloni is a beast in my homoerotic wrestling imagination!|
But if there's been a sexy hunk of beef who's haunted my homoerotic wrestling fiction more than any other, it has to be season 5 TB newbie, Christopher Meloni. Sweet god almighty, they simply had to have sewn him into the blue polo shirt he wore in this past episode. His bulging shoulders and back look like their about to split the fabric every time he moves. In TB, he's a sadistic, power-hungry, psychologically domineering and physically dominating force of nature. In other words, he's exactly like I picture him in the ring!
|I've got plans for those luscious pecs!|
And here's another spoiler. His abrupt exit from the show made me throw stuff at my television. Getting staked by an ugly, skinny super villain transported me back to watching pro wrestling as a kid. I used to get so turned on by the physically dominant, gorgeous muscle boys in the ring, and then find myself provoked nearly to tears to watch the clearly physically inferior heel lie, cheat, and steal his way to crushing my muscleman hero. Classic. And as bitter as I feel about seeing big Christopher shrivel up into a pile of ashes, there's something beautiful and nostalgic about being taken back to that place right at the root of my homoerotic wrestling kink. Happily, Christopher lives on in my homoerotic wrestling fiction, due to make a record setting 5th appearance in the Producer's Ring, flexing those guns and bringing the pretty boys to their knees. Damn, TB works me so hard!