|Sam Champion (r) announces he's marrying his partner (l) who is, shockingly, a man.|
Breaking news! Sam Champion is gay! Well, really now. Breaking news? I've probably spent more time than most studying newsboys and speculating on their sexualities, but even a casual observer of that glazed look of unrequited lust and conspicuous blushing every time 6'2" Italian thoroughbred Chris Cuomo gives him a wink and a smile couldn't miss the obvious truth. So excuse me if I fail to look surprised, even as I sincerely celebrate another hot celebrity throwing wide the closet doors. Seriously, ABC has been handling the whole thing with remarkable poise. It's all about the good news, unrestrained excitement, gentle kidding... all the stuff that happens when anyone tells their friends that they're engaged. Because that's the real news. Sam's tying the knot in a state where that's legal with his smoking hot, sultry Brazilian (all of that's redundant, now, isn't it?) fiancé.
|Chris flexes his mouthwatering gun: Sam blushes and adjusts his position on his bicycle seat.|
Sam and Chris were stars of the first homoerotic wrestling fiction I posted nearly 4 years ago. They were tag team partners who had to compete head-to-head in a singles match to start off the newsboy tournament. Their notorious gay/straight bromance turned nasty quickly when winning was on the line. Sam used the excuse of the opening handshake to sucker punch (kick, really) Chris in the gut, dropping the big muscle stud to his knees, and slapping on a skull crushing standing head scissors.
|Chris feins indifference to Sam's straightboy crush|
I imagine Sam to be a seriously vicious scrapper, while Chris is just stunned that his good looks and rippling muscles aren't making his little buddy weak in the knees like they usually do. Sam rips Chris' tank stop off and ties the red-faced Italian's wrists together with it before stepping back and taking in the sight of the muscle stud transformed into a vulnerable meatscicle.
|I suspect Sam volunteered to co-star with Chris in a wet t-shirt scenario|
Sam and Chris were at the very beginning of this blog, too, inspiring me to snag my first caps to post what it looks like when they get dropped into a dunking booth, their wet t-shirts plastered to their bodies. Soaked to the skin, Chris' hot pecs and tight abs on display as the fabric goes transparent... this is the type of "news assignment" every gay man wants to be part of!
|Chris points at his pride and joy: that gorgeous, bulging bicep (oh, yeah, there's a fish there, too)|
|Technically, one doesn't actually need to roll one's sleeves up past one's granite carved deltoids to display one's catch, does one? Not that I'm complaining, mind you.|
|Chris makes Sam sweat with a hands-on weightlifting spot.|
|I'm pretty certain the green is photoshop, but the muscles are all Chris Cuomo!|
|Chris unbuttons his shirt, flexes his pecs, and ponders the direction his homoerotic wrestling career is heading.|