Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

Austin Wolf's reign as homoerotic wrestler of the month has been a wild one, no doubt, but it's time to kick his fine, fine ass off the throne to make room for one of the army of beautiful boys who, unlike Austin, posted a new release in homoerotic wrestling during the month of November.  The field is always deepest when BG East releases a catalog, and that's the case this time around.  Among the notable contenders from BG East's catalog 96 is newly minted muscle bunny, Gabriel Ross from X-Fights 34, as well as former HWOTM and long-time reigning favorite around here, pendulous Joshua Goodman (that's Mr. Joshua to you!) for Demolition 15.  It should come as no surprise to recent readers that Gazebo Grapplers 14 presents a bevy of beautiful contenders, including rookies Pete Sharp and friend of this blog Mason Brooks, as well as former HWOTM Christian Taylor, veteran erotic master  Blaine Janus, and the visually stunning pair of hairy hunks Ben Monaco and Damien Rush.  I haven't discussed Muscle Madness 1 yet around here, but damn, did you see sex-wrestler and monster muscleman Magnus have his way with big, beautiful Chace LaChance!?  Former HWOTM Z-Man also posts a hot performance with frequent contender Rio Garza, and both Trent Blayze and Darius work up so much heat between them that my computer mouse even got hot! Two former HWOTM went head to head in some of the most visually beautiful images I've ever seen when Lon Dumont brought a long a rookie to put a glorious beatdown on barefoot beauties Jake Jenkins and Austin Cooper for Tag Team Torture 15. From Sunshine Shooters 5, I was deep down turned on by the Dorian Gray-esque Patrick Donovan and massive stud Dev Michaels, as well as current reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler overall Kid Karisma, making it hurt so sweetly with sexy Brit Mike Martin.  Finally, Ethan Axel making his BG East debut getting incredibly hot and bothered and ripped and stripped with Mason Brooks' infatuation, Lorenzo Lowe in Gloved Gladiators 5. Amazing depth from BG East!  But of course, they aren't the only ones putting out chart topping matches in November.  I'm wildly happy to see what Braden Charron gets up to against hot rookie Ken in Thunders Arena's Mat Rats 29.  And I love the look of Can-Am's Bobby Blake volunteering to get DeCrotcheried by cockmaster Jobe Zander.  And on the muscle worship scene, did you catch Steel Muscle God going flex to flex and bearhug to bearhug against fellow internet/youtube sensation Connor?  Wowza! And finally, Rock Hard Wrestling released Superstar Showdown, pitting former HWOTM Jake Jenkins squaring off against his very same tag team partner from BG East's new release Tag Team Torture 15, goldenboy Austin Cooper.

So much quality.  So much sweat.  So many hours in November devoted to sucking the juice out of each and every one of these contenders!  But my task I've set for myself is to appoint only one to laud as the homoerotic wrestler of the month this time around.  And that hunk is....




Trent Blayze: 6'1", 195 lbs


This choice catches me by surprise.  I know, I know.  It's my choice, but still, I surprise myself sometimes.  I was all set to tap a different power hitter when I sat down to give my due diligence to Trent and Darius' match in Muscle Madness 1.  And even then, I was really vetting Darius for the title based on his stills and what he's managed to do to me when I've watched his previous matches.  And no doubt, Darius is insanely beautiful in this match.  His ass alone deserves some sort of award.  He sells like a champ.  I love me some Darius in the ring!  But holy hell, I was blown away by Trent Blayze!

Darius was always going to outmuscle Trent in above board competition.
Trent establishes character 5 seconds after climbing into the ring.  Darius extends a hand as an offer of good sportsmanship, which Trent slaps away in disgust.  Trent admires himself, flexing in the mirror and taunting his famously muscled opponent.  "Look at that! Hmmm?  What about that!"  Darius quickly steps side-by-side and demonstrates why he's not one to challenge in a muscle comparison.  "Is this what we're here for!" Darius smirks.  Trent is big and beautiful, don't get me wrong.  He's a champion sweat machine, and I'm a sucker for pools of perspiration.  But a side-by-side double bicep next to Darius?  Come on!  The arm wrestling challenge seems similarly unlikely.  The veins in Darius' huge arms pop.  He toys with this kid briefly, then easily knocks out a right-handed victory like nothing.  Left-handed goes no better for Trent, who shows exactly what he thinks of sportsmanship by launching a sneak attack and bashing Darius' mouthwatering muscles.

Trent looks awfully tasty from every angle!
Trent keeps leveling the playing field with cheap shots that lay Darius out cold, setting the stage for muscle man Darius to flex all those maddening muscles to power his way back on top.  Every time Darius digs deep and pumps himself back into contention, I'm stroked harder.  A few minutes in and I'm thinking this is Darius in the spotlight, not big, tattooed Southern boy Trent.  Darius' body on offense and getting pummeled in the corner are such a feast!  But holy hell, there's some point I can't quite put my finger on in the middle of this match that I suddenly recognize that I'm totally infatuated with every inch of 6'1" Trent.

That sweaty, tattooed, muscled back is so fucking HOT!
I'm pretty sure whatever that moment is, it happens when Trent's back is to the camera, because this kid's back is incredible.  Backs aren't always my fixation, of course.  Often it's a bit lower where my eyes are wandering when a wrestling stud turns his back to the camera, and Trent's sweet, powerful ass is entirely fixation-worthy.  But no, it's his back itself.  Big, brought, muscled, tattooed, and very quickly shining with a self-replenishing coat of sweat.  Gorgeous, simply gorgeous!

"That feels good, don't it!?"
There's nothing bad at all about the front, either.  He's got an incredibly sexy way of snarling to one side, like he's got a shaft of straw in the other side of his mouth.  And maybe it's just Mason Brook's warning that quiet, polite Southern boys are probably nastier than you think.  There's both an understated quality about Trent and a deep, dangerous nastiness there, too, growling out from deep in his chest in that hot, sexy drawl.  There's lots of "how's that feel?  That feels good, don't it!?"  juxtaposed against Darius mouth hanging open in silent agony.  Trent rips apart Darius' mighty pecs fiber by fiber, digging his fingers in deep and clawing savagely.

Trent swims in his own sweat and showers a withering Darius.
There's corner these boys turn where you know Darius is once again going down in a musclebashing feast for the eyes.  There's another 15 minutes left, and the main course on this menu is meaty Darius getting carved up and served raw.  I was prepared to be captured by the iconic sight of a big, powerful musclestud broken to bits and wailing helplessly.  But I wasn't prepared for how incredibly irresistible I found Trent's work on top, maintaining the pace of this match, carrying the story forward like a bona fide heel.  He makes a seamless transition from blasting Darius' quivering mass he calls his pecs to brutalizing the bodybuilder's back by ripping one last pec claw while simultaneously holding Darius in a bulging OTK backbreaker.  Multitasking is so... fucking... sexy!

Bulge-beautiful, muscle torturing crucifix
The corner abuse Trent inflicts is also hot shit.  He yanks upward on Darius' trunks, using those butt-hugging Adidas to making the muscleman climb the turnbuckles and setting him up for a bulge-beautiful, muscle torturing crucify that leaves incredibly powerful Darius suspended helplessly with his feet nearly two-feet (no shit!) off the mat.  Furious, horrified, humiliated, Darius submits repeatedly until the nasty Southern boy, sweat streaming off his body, finally releases him.

Heavily lubricated victory
Joe's been a Trent fan since day 1, and it's not like I've ever not liked what I've seen.  But the Southern brawler put together a look, an offense, and an attitude in his muscle crunching destruction of Darius that put me way, way over the top.  I'm on the record now and always as saying that any big, beautiful wrestler who literally pours sweat onto their humiliating opponent writhing beneath them will always have the pole position in a HWOTM competition.  Trent not only starts in pole position, he shifts my gears like nobody else this month, earning him my enthusiastic laud as neverland's newest homoerotic wrestler of the month.

Trent's happy to be on top!

11 comments:

  1. Never heard of him before. But I'm sure I will from here on out!

    Good selection!

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  2. I really was not expecting him... but what a pleasant surprise!! Excellent pick just as Joe says!

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  3. Another great write up on one of my matches. But what the hell do I have to do to get Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month? Get you in the ring and show you what I got, up close and personnel! I'm sure that can be arranged.

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    Replies
    1. Holy crap, Darius! You're severely testing my journalistic integrity here! If I were to accept the offer of an "up close and personal" ring session, my objectivity would be totally blown by getting smothered in your gorgeous pecs and crushed by your massive legs! And that... ASS!? No one would believe me that I was unbiased... Oh, what the hell am I talking about? Nobody believes that I'm unbiased!

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  4. I was both surprised and pleased by the choice of Trent Blayze. I've been a fan of Trent's since before he made his BG East debut. He was brought to our attention by a fan of indy pro action who had seen Trent on a local show. I'm looking forward to our release of a special double header featuring two matches of Trent Blayze vs Jonny Firestorm - one match taped at a local indy show and the other in the BG East Arena.

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  5. Hey, as long as Trent gets equal time to refute Darius, you're uncompromised!

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    Replies
    1. Stroke of pure genius, Almatolmen! I need to start hitting the gym harder, pronto!

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  6. Aren't those your abs in the profile pic? If so, the gym might be superfluous!

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    Replies
    1. That's been my profile pic for 4 years... my abs have come and gone repeatedly since then. Time for them to come back if I get to road test Darius and Trent!

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    2. You've certainly got a solid foundation in your core!

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