So when BG East's Best of 2012 poll came out, and even more when I thought about the results as they were announced, it made me wonder what the objects of our popularity polls think of being ranked, ordered, and lauded or looked over. From the consumer side of homoerotic wrestling, I found the poll to be a very fun exercise in examining my own tastes in comparison with more than 500 or so other fans. But from the wrestler side of things, I had to wonder what the boys themselves thought of the exercise. Any gloating? Any hurt feelings?
Hell YES! Lon Dumont sent me a text demanding a recount. I don't know if a recount would help, but I'm entirely with him on finding the results unsatisfying when it comes to recognizing what an insanely hot wrestler he is! My hope is that, as he enters a new bodybuilding season in a few weeks, he'll take this defeat at the BG East polls and turn it into gold on stage, and then bring in his bodybuilding trophies and shove them, and his bulging biceps, in the face of his next opponent.
One of Lon's buddies, Cameron Matthews, also was not pleased, despite anchoring Babyface Brawls 2, winner of best ring match. Cameron made one of the most compelling arguments against his exclusion from the categories of best abs and best body by simply posting to his blog this fucking gorgeous photo of himself from his recent wrestling trip to the UK, in which his unbelievably hot six-pack was doused in oil and on awesome display. Under the title "Best of 2012 Complaints," Cam reviews the slights and mistake of the pollsters themselves. "Didn’t even make it into the finalist of Best Body 2012. 3rd Place as Top Babyface. Not ranked amongst Best Abs.” Even his razor thin loss to Kid Karisma in the Best Butt category merely inflamed Cameron's outrage, prompting him to demand a recount. Personally, I think it's a stroke of pure genius that Cameron has apparently been inspired by this miscarriage of justice to commit himself to earning the title of Best Heel of 2013. I'm wholeheartedly ready for him to earn my vote!
|Cameron Matthews asks you to just look at this photo and explain his absence from the nominees for best abs and best body|
Even the overwhelming winners at the polls seem a little irked at some of the subtleties of the voting and commentary. I received this extensive text rant from Eli Black early yesterday morning, I'm sure at least in part in response to my gentle critique that Lon's abs might merit more credit than Eli's:
Trying to provoke Eli?!!!!! My abs are the very best abs in the wrestling seen these days!!!! 100% American Muscle!!!!! The votes were rigged!!!!! I won them all! I am the face wherever I go, hence why I am Mr. Primus, and I shutdown any compotition around me!!! Austin Cooper?!!! Kid Karisma?!!! For get about it! Eli Black all the way! I'm the champ, and no one's dethroning me. End of story. My abs are chiseled by God himself!!!!! Picture perfect! No one else could even hold my jock strap!!!!! You people like to forget this is Eli Black's world - y'all just live in it!Hard to argue with, isn't it? The mountain of exclamation points alone sort of beat you into submission similarly to the vicious beatings that Eli's been pounding into the bodies of his opponents as of late. And seriously, what's to argue with? Coop fans may want to quibble with the implication that Austin's Wrestler Spotlight shouldn't have garnered more votes than Eli's. And I'm first in line to raise a skeptical eyebrow at Eli's suggestion that his truly astonishingly gorgeous ass is definitively superior to the world class glutes that belong to Best Butt winner Kid Karisma. But Eli has a way about him of being so... persuasive. And I'd give my left testicle for a chance to see Kid K and Eli go ass-on-ass in the ring until one of them is, literally, submissively holding the winner's sweat soaked jock strap. But scoring wins as Best Debut of 2012, Best Abs, and starring in the Best Mat Battle of the year, it's hard to miss the ring of stark truth in Eli's words: It's Eli's world, people. We just live in it!
|A nod to the fans: Cameron Matthews is one of the many homoerotic wrestlers who appreciates being appreciated|