|Sexiest Match: StripStakes 3 - Morgan Cruise vs Damien Rush|
I do like numbers though, and I'm happy to see a few more data points available than just who won. For example, Morgan Cruise's rip 'n strip 'n force to cum rookie welcome of Damien Rush in StripStakes 3 scored the trophy for sexiest match in 2012, but check the stats. The match I voted for, Cage Thunder and Lightning Rod's insanely sexy 2-on-1 destruction of achingly adorably Stinger in Masked Mayhem 9 was just 1 percentage point behind. I think the heat of this competition deserves seeing Cage Thunder and Lightning Rod tag team once again, this time against Morgan and Damien!
|Best Mat Battle: Matie Rookies Eli Black v Jake Jenkins|
I can't remember for certain, but I think my vote for best ring match went with runner-ups Jonny Firestorm and Jake Jenkins in Jobberpalooza 12: The Works, rather than category winners Cameron Matthews and Austin Cooper for Babyface Brawl 2. I wouldn't argue with that outcome at all, really, even though just 5 percentage points separated 1st and 2nd place. I thought that was a very competitive category with several very worthy contenders.
For best babyface, I think I again went with the herd in picking winner Jake Jenkins who pulled it out by 6 percentage points over Austin Cooper. There are extremely fierce fans in both of these boys' camps, so I'm not surprised they rose to the top. I'm sort of pleased that of the two, Jake topped Coop.
Honestly, I just can't remember who I voted for top heel, but it could have been winner Jonny Firestorm who beat out equally likely candidate I may have voted for, Kid Karisma, by 11 points. Since there was no category for most mindblowing forearms (next year, people!), I'm glad Jonny tucked this one under his belt.
|Top Heel: Jonny Firestorm|
Best squash was not close at all, but I sided with the 17% of decisively swung for Kid Karisma's gorgeous, sexy beatdown on Skip Vance in Mat Mayhem 23 rather than category winner Jonny Firestorm and Jake Jenkins for Jobberpalooza 12: The Works. I'm glad The Works got a shout out somewhere in the poll results, though. And the writing was on the wall, really, with Jake voted top babyface and Jonny voted top heel!
Jobber of the year went to fan favorite Rio Garza by 9 percentage points over my pick, Skip Vance. Rio's got an extremely loyal and not infrequently aggressive (to the point of rude) fan base that makes this result unsurprising to me. For my tastes, however, Skip is much more a classic jobber and entertaining sell. Rio's awfully entertaining to watch job, too, though.
Again, I think was with the herd in picking Eli as the best debut of 2012 by 12 points over Damien, though this could easily have gone a different direction and I'd have been entirely on board. It feels like Eli's been at BG East for years and years, which suggests to me why this was, as Eli would be happy to tell you, his year!
Best spotlight release feature was an 11 point spread between Eli and category winner Austin Cooper. While this doesn't surprise me, and if I were a betting man I'd have put money down and made money back on this outcome, I placed my vote for last place winner Denny Cartier because his Leopard's Lair 4 anchor position was fucking AWESOME, and essentially 4 barnburner and brutal bouts for the price of 2. I love, love, love me some Denny Cartier and one of my fondest wishes for 2013 is to see him tap into a nasty streak and headline a new category for next year's voting: best heel turn!
Best abs was a surprisingly (to me) narrow victory of 2 points by Eli over Jake. What makes for "best" when it comes to bodies and their parts is, obviously, subjective, however my vote went for Lon Dumont by a mile and a half. At the risk of pissing off Eli, I just have to say Eli's phenomenal 8-pack seems to me to be about 60% conditioning and 40% mass, whereas Lon's anatomy chart abdominals (the whole pacakge: serratus, obliques, abdomini) are a more aesthetically balanced and all around stunning beauty. I don't begrudge Eli's victory at all, mind you, but I just shake my head and contemplate my vast distance from the herd when I see that Lon placed last. For me and my tastes, I think this calls for a Lon v Eli gut bash in 2013.
I was, however, right in the middle of the pack in voting for best bulge winner (by 4 points) Joshua Goodman (that's Mr. Joshua to you!), who slapped down his junk to power hit past Gabriel Ross' anaconda. There wasn't one candidate in this field that couldn't easily own the title, and I'd go so far as to say that this year was a bumber crop of mountainous packages. Now the task for 2013 is for one of those club boys that he likes to take home and challenge to wrestle for the chance to put Mr. J on his knees, to literally shock the pants off of Mr. J and finally, finally, finally unleash the beast within. I guarantee I'll buy three copies of that release!
Best butt was a horse race between category winner Kid Karisma and 2nd place finisher (by a nose) Cameron Matthews. While we can't go wrong with any of the contenders for this title, I'm happy to admit I voted for and was campaign chairman for Kid K's glorious glutes to grab this title. Again, I say, the ferocity of this competition clearly warrants a Kid K v Cameron rip 'n strip ring battle to be decided by who makes whom kiss his ass. I'll pay a premium for a front row seat to that one!
Best body again revealed the distance between me and the herd, with Rio Garza taking the title by 4 points over 2nd place Austin Cooper. Arguably, this could be the most subjective of all of these wildly subjective categories, because what bodies turn us on follow such divergent tastes in bodies among wrestling fans. If this were strictly about physical conditioning and muscle mass, the 2 bodybuilders at the bottom of the heap, Magnus and my choice Lon Dumont, could have easily vied for the top spots. Again, this line of reasoning makes my loins ache to see Magnus and Lon in a head-to-head catchweight ring match of bodybuilding beauties. However, 21% of fans preferred the body of beautifully proportioned, lickably smooth Rio, which I get, despite my tastes drawing me strongly elsewhere.
The final category placed me back among the masses in selecting the blazingly hot X-Fights 34 match between Drake Marcos and Gabriel Ross, obliterating the competition with 54% of the vote! Truth be told, I could easily be tempted to swing for the incredibly sexy and, yes, I'll say it, wrestling romantic liplock that Enforcer slapped on Maskador in Masked Mayhem 10 as the ripped hunk hung battered and helpless in a tree of woe, halfway to being entirely unmasked. I admit it: I've also gotten off to that scene from Spiderman where Tobey Maguire hangs upside down, his masked half pulled off, as his co-star sucks hero face. Gorgeous fantasy! But holy hell, the heat generated by Drake and Gabriel could heat Reykjavik for year!
What a year! BG East pieced together an incredible collection of outstanding homoerotic wrestling, and all of the nominees and the entire catalog of 2012 releases deserves all this and much more credit. Nicely done, gentlemen!