Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Picking Up the Remote

Within the context of the news that one of my favorite newsboys, Chris Cuomo, has been successfully wooed away from ABC by CNN to headline his own morning news program, ABC quietly brought on board a new correspondent a couple of months ago.

Luscious Latino stud Gio Benitez looks hungry for success.
Gio Benitez joins the Good Morning America crew after his recent migration north from Miami.  My instant reaction to young Gio was, "hola!"  The Latino stud is handsome as hell.  He's got a mouthful of teeth, sporting a smile bigger than most (not hating here, mind you... not at all).  Gio has a strong wiff of fratboy hottiness about him, mixed in with an unmistakable "aw shucks" quality that shines through the impeccably tailored suit he wears to increase his network news cred, unmistakably revealing he's just fucking thrilled to have landed this shot at the big leagues.  I liked him instantly.  I thought immediately that he well could earn an appearance in a homoerotic wrestling fantasy, perhaps teaming up with fellow GMA correspondent and frequent object of my lust, Matt Gutman.  It's hard to judge, when I only get to see a stud from the waist up as Gio typically reports sitting at the GMA desk or, when in the field in a head-and-shoulders framed shot, but sure, I'd almost definitely like to see someone like Gutman jump this rookie from behind and rip off the suit and tie to reveal what the fresh meat carries underneath.

There's no mistaking it: Gio's bulging!
Then a couple of weeks ago, something caught my eye when I was lustfully fantasizing in the middle of one of Gio's morning reports.  Damn, that suit is tailored all to hell, and fuck me if those aren't some serious pythons coiled up inside those sleeves!  Of course, you know me.  I can let my imagination run a little wild at times (aka, always).  I can picture a stone-carved hunk of mouthwatering meat with just a single button undone to reveal the barest glimpse of pec cleavage.  But there was something about the way Gio sat at the GMA desk, something about those obviously packed shirt sleeves and an unmistakable bulge at the shoulders.  Is this yet another example of my imagination running away with me, or is Gio Benitez an undercover muscleman!?  A little internet digging and bingo!

This shot alone makes me ready to move to Miami!
Holy shit.  I mean, holy... fucking... shit.  This kid is a side of beef!  I get absolutely nothing in my treasure hunt for a shirtless shot ($10 to anyone who's got nip sightings on lovely Gio).  But some sleeveless t-shirt shots show seriously nice, thick biceps and big, round shoulders of a pump-junkie gym bunny!

Gio's prominent nips are begging to debut!
Already there's online speculation about Gio's sexual orientation, because yeah, that's what we do.  Personally, I'm holding out hope that Matt Gutman's recent assignments reporting from Miami led to a torrid love affair with a certain Cuban powerbottom and subsequently the inside track on a major league job promotion.  True story or not, I'm helpless to stop the barrage of images stroking my imagination featuring Gio's powerfully sculpted pecs bouncing as he climbs through the ropes alongside his new newsboy tag team partner, Mattie too-hot-to-handle Gutman.  Talk about a power couple!  The old guard on the newsboy beat better get their tired asses to the gym, because there are a couple of new kids on the newsboy block that I absolutely cannot take my eyes off of!

That physique is made to deliver a newsboy beatdown!
Speaking of which, this countermove by ABC to position an insanely sexy rookie newsboy with biceps way thicker than George Stephanopoulos' neck into my morning routine moments before Chris Cuomo goes live on CNN with his own morning show is undeniable genius.  I'm almost paralyzed by the win-win choice of GMA vs. yet-to-be-named Cuomo morning vehicle.  A no-holds-barred pro wrestling match between Gio and Chris would certainly settle things for me (and don't think that isn't playing itself out in my imagination soon!).  However, short of that ideal scenario, let me just clarify for the powers that be that the owner of my loyalties will almost certainly be the network that manages to contrive the more creative ways to maneuver their meat in front of the camera wearing as little as possible.  
Beat it goofy!  That upper body is mine to fondle!
I haven't been this turned on over my morning cup of tea in far too long. Summer's coming soon.  I think it's about time for a GMA correspondent swim suit fashion show!  Sincerely, welcome to my homoerotic wrestling fantasies, Gio Benitez!


Wanna wrestle, Gio?  Call me!

And word to the wise, Mr. Cuomo: this rook looks like he could very well have pecs to rival even your mouthwatering mounds of muscle.  Knock out another set at the bench press and start practicing your pec claws, because this beautiful specimen could very well be more than you can handle!

Call up that personal trainer again, Chris, and look over your shoulder, 'cause Gio's making his move!

5 comments:

  1. I'm glad you featured Gio 'cause I've been enduring Diane Sawyer and her is-she-drunk-or-is-she-just-old? reporting just to catch the occasional glimpse of Gio. I miss Chris, too, but Gio is a fine replacement. What great arms! I wanna wrestle Gio!

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  2. What a great story Thanks so much!

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  3. "Holy fucking shit," indeed! I guess I should watch the news more... Can't wait 'til he hits your wrestling fic!

    And I know it's completely beside the point, but that's Pluto, not Goofy. :)

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